Me,Myself & I (Dedicated to all my Friends)

2011-01-03T21:47:00.005+08:00

In Loving Memory of My Mickey Darling Dearest... 3rd Jan 2011.

my dearest mickey boy has passed on this morning at about 9am. i hope you're happy in heaven darling mickey. i'm sure you'll cos there's yang yang accompanying you and that you're no longer in pain. i love you very much.

2010-10-26T03:04:00.002+08:00

i was just following up on my idol, S.H.E's Selina's unfortunate news on youtube and other websites. she had suffered 3rd-degree burn on 40% of her body. imagine that intense, unbearable pain that she was going through when it happened - the very thought of it makes me cringe. especially so when something unfortunate had happened to me too during march this year. 3rd degree burns are very serious and painful, and will result in scarring. her injuries are so serious to the extent that she would require skin graft. i really feel for her. yes, consolation would be that with the medical advancement (ie. plastic surgical procedures), she'd gradually be fine. however it will definitely take quite a while. the emotional trauma, the sleepless nights when you were weeping away, you just cannot imagine how you are going to live your life the way it was before. still remember darling kept me company throughout those nights for the two weeks, it did help to ease the pain that i was going through then. but when he was asleep, i would still be awake, crying all to myself. and even when i managed to sleep, i would wake up in the middle of the night and weep again, then slept and woke up early in the morning only to find my tears flowing down my cheeks yet again. those nights were unbearable, with the emotional struggle that i was trying to fight against and the nightmares that i was experiencing on a daily basis. that was one of my darkest periods, i felt really vulnerable. i didn't want to see anyone or anyone to see me. not even darling. i am thankful for many who cared but that period was a really lonely battle because no one could truly understand what i was going through. i am sure likewise for Selina. yes, there are so many who care but she still has to go through all these on her own.

it's been 7 months since it's happened, and the scarring still exists. i would still cry myself to sleep occassionally, tear when i look at myself in the mirror. the emotional trauma will stay with me for a long time to come. i would silently pray for my scars and emotional trauma to go away... and my idol, Selina, i'll keep you in my prayers. be strong. be really strong.

2010-07-20T23:30:00.000+08:00

"Stand" -- Rascal Flatts

You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright, you'll be alright
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand, Then you stand
Life's like a novelWith the end ripped out
The edge of a canyonWith only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend till you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand, then you stand
Everytime you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place
Oh

2010-06-13T18:33:00.002+08:00

如果超人会飞
那就让我在空中停一停歇
再次俯瞰这个世界
会让我觉得好一些

拯救地球好累
虽然有些疲惫但我还是会
不要问我哭过了没
因为超人不能有眼泪

.. i'll hang in there. i'll reach the destination eventually.

2010-04-17T00:16:00.002+08:00

heard this song by miley cyrus on board the plane (which reminds me of the europe trip! i miss europe!!!) when i was watching the movie "hannah montana" and i fell in love with this song ever since. i suppose i can really feel this song very strongly given what has happened to me as of late. i still remembered how i felt during the first week when it happened. i would cry myself to sleep and the moment i woke up the next day, i could feel the tears on my cheeks (thank god for sweets who's kept me company almost daily). even right now when i'm thinking back, i can't help feeling upset. guess no one really understands how i feel. but i do feel better knowing so many who care for me. i'll be strong and positive. yes, you heard me. or rather, you read me.

The Climb by Miley Cyrus

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"
Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking
But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb
The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going
And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on
'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

2010-03-23T23:44:00.002+08:00

transition stage currently... so far so good! but i've got to admit that the learning curve in my current company is pretty steep. and i've got to learn fast, adapt fast, absolutely no time to waste, no time for that least bit of unproductiveness. anyway, the people here are all pretty friendly and fun-loving, much to my delight. i foresee that i'll have lesser time for my personal stuff in the near future and that my mind will be full of numbers, targets, numbers, targets. yes, the stress is building up day by day, but i'll bear in mind that it's a positive form of motivation. stress keeps one going, and when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. nonetheless, i'll give it my best shot!!

i know i've been procrastinating for the longest time! i have not blogged about the recent dec'09 hongkong/macau trip (okay, maybe not that recent afterall haha), the jan'10 bkk trip and the feb'10 europe trip. gosh. i've got tonnes of photos waiting for me to save them into my external hard disk (which was my 2010 bday gift from my dearest rh girls! THANK YOU GIRLS!! LOVE LOVE). need to spend alot of time to sort them out (way back from year 2003 to 2010!). gosh, i really don't know how to arrange and re-arrange 7 long years of pics and video clips. i'll try my best. notice my current motto in life is: DO MY BEST, GIVE IT MY BEST SHOT. yeah. that's the spirit. that's the attitude. that's the drive & motivation. fighting fighting!!!

sidetrack a lil'. went to sentosa with my girls abt two weeks back. pity that one of the attractions was closed for private function, but we had fun still! thank you for the belated bday celebration girls! the cake was delicious and awesome! :) hmm.. and also heard from ping that she actually saw jos recently. think cin had seen him too. and so, he's back to civilian life now. of which i'm glad. he's still very much involved in his religion matters, and i suppose he's really found his purpose and goal in life. i'm really happy for him. hmmm. was just wondering what if i ever see him on the street one fine day? how will i react? how will he react? well well, doesn't really matter now, does it? he came and he left. it's history. i've put the past behind me. so... ping, if you're reading this, i just want to tell you that you can do it simply cos' i did it. yes, it'll be very very painful to see the one whom you've loved so much walking away, but trust me, time is the panacea. it'll heal you and nurse your broken heart eventually. focus on your last term and go get an awesome high-paying job! i'm expecting a treat from you when you get your first pay! :) all of us rh girls love you ping!! i love you the most!!! -hugs-

2010-02-14T03:32:00.003+08:00

happy chinese new year to all of you!!!

it's less than 24 hrs to my europe trip!!! i am very excited and definitely looking forward to the trip very much!! i must say that i am quite fortunate as i have been travelling for the past two months - hong kong and macau during dec 2009 and bkk during jan 2010. and i'm travelling to europe later!! woohoo!!! but travelling for 3 consecutive months also means that I AM REALLY VERY BROKE! gosh. my savings.. :( but then again.. it doesn't make sense if you don't spend the money that you earn, moreover the money is well-spent cos i love travelling and it's brought me much happiness and joy. =) i hope that after the trip to europe, i will come back fully recharged and 101% ready for my career!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!

today's also valentine's day! dar and i will not go on our usual romantic date for v day later because of cny. but but but.. i received a really nice bouquet of flowers from dearie.. 24 pink roses to be exact. :D i know some girls and most guys will think that it's such a waste to buy flowers cos they will wither away eventually but i think otherwise. i feel it's ok to buy flowers occasionally. trust me, even girls who say that buying flowers aren't necessary will still feel good and happy when they receive them. so.. darling, thank you so much! you are a really very sweet and understanding boyfriend. my bestest boyfriend in the world!!! though i always say that i love cristiano ronaldo and wu zun, you should know that i love you the most!!! haha.. you are my number one silly boy!! :) *hugs* happy valentine's day to you! fortunately, i can spend v day with darling ray because i will only be flying around 1 plus am. but the unfortunate part is that i will not be able to spend my birthday with sweets on my actual birthday as i will be in switzerland that day. :( rh girls too!!! usually they'll celebrate my bday for me but it seems that it'll be a belated event this year? haha. one of my to-buy items is seagate portable external drive 500GB/1TB. *BIG HINT* lol. so girls, think no further! hahaha.

alright, time to head off to bed. happy valentine's day everyone!!! and happy birthday to me in advance!! haha.

p/s: i miss yang yang. :( happy cny and happy v day to you my dearie..

2010-02-02T11:24:00.001+08:00

our beloved yang yang left us today, on 2nd feb 2010, at 5.30am.

goodbye. forever. we'll miss you very much. and god will bless you yang yang.

2010-02-01T23:57:00.004+08:00

been at the vet for over 2 hours plus just now. yang yang's fallen sick when i was in bkk. and i could only take her to the vet today as i've just returned on sat midnight. this time round, she's seriously ill. the vet told me she might not make it. it's only a matter of time and she might pass on the next few days. i couldn't control my tears. i know i heard this last year when i brought mickey to the vet (a different vet and clinic) but fortunately and miraculously (thank god!), mickey's still here with me now. but he's been coughing his lungs out for the past year and every cough just pains me. i know it's a matter of time that he'll leave me. and frankly, i'm apprehensive. i really am. and now, yang yang's case is really really bad. vet even gave me the option of euthanasia. yes, that's how pessimistic it is. another option is blood transfusion (need another dog donor to do so), even which yang goes through, she might not make it and it's a very expensive procedure. next option's to let her be hospitalised, but she told me it's not optimistic either as she might leave us the next few days even under proper medical care. i didn't know what to do. i called mummy and i found myself unable to speak properly cos i kept crying and crying away. she asked me to bring yang back home.. she looks really weak and vulnerable. my maid and i were feeding yang some antibiotics and other medication when mum and dad came home. they sat on the floor, sayang-ing her. upon seeing that, i cried again. and even now, i just can't bring myself to be strong. i told them i don't want to have new dogs anymore. and i ask them to give away our 4th doggie, wang wang (belongs to my dad's friend previously). i know i'm going to be depressed for 3 times, and with wang wang, it will be 4 times. i don't know.. all i care for now is that yang will really get better even if the vet thinks that things aren't looking good.

god, i just want to tell you that it happened all too fast. please don't let yang go just yet. i'm not prepared... i'm really praying that you'll let her get better and not suffer. please.

2010-01-25T23:42:00.011+08:00

hello all!!!!!!!

alot of things have happened since my last entry.. well it's been almost one month into the new year. i hope 2010's been well for all of you my dear friends!

i just tendered my resignation letter today. it's been a very tough decision for me over the past few weeks. afterall, i've got a very positive and good appraisal from my boss (that means higher bonus!) and i'm doing relatively well there, in terms of work performance, good ties with colleagues and bosses etc. so i made this very hard decision to move on and forgo my performance + company bonus. many friends have asked me to leave, telling me that those money can be earned back (not even one had asked me to stay!). i've more or less accepted that fact and i will not look back anymore. i will work harder, earn much more for a better future! i am so glad that i'm not the only one embarking on this new journey. darling will also be embarking on a new journey too! and i feel so happy for him because of the great job prospect! i'm really proud of you my baby boy. it wasn't easy to get it at all and you got it!!! :) i foresee that we'll be very busy once we embark on our new journey and that we'll have lesser time for each other. but i have absolute faith that our strong relationship will overcome anything and everything! sweets, let's jiayou together!!! :D *hugs*

we'll also be travelling to bkk once again!!! i can't believe we're going back there in less than 1 year! our last bkk trip was during may 2009! well it's quite a last-minute decision to travel and we thought it'd be good to travel because for the next 1 year at least, we'll not have much time to travel together. so off we go to bkk this coming wednesday!!

oh, and i will most probably be heading to london with my parents and relatives during the cny festive period. not yet confirmed but most likely will be travelling there. yipppeess!! i wish we have more time to travel to other parts of europe if this trip materialises! till then!! :)

2010 is and will be a very good year!! :)

2009-12-29T23:36:00.003+08:00

been quite a while since i last blogged.

back from hong kong. and seriously, i still miss our trip very very very much. the great company, awesome food, nice cold weather, fantastic experiences (disney, the peak, mini bus ride, electric bus ride, shopping malls and streets) and so much more. are there no reasons not to miss this wonderful trip? it's back to reality for now. but the 5 days were well-spent and i feel totally recharged. my current motivation level's upped many times.

will blog about the hk trip if i have the time. but pics up in facebook already! can go take a look. :) we took many pics for the hk/macau trip! think plus esther's, we had a total of 700plus? ok, maybe not many to some of you cos i know of ppl who take like thousands of pics for their short trips.

it's just two more days to the last day of 2009. new year, new start, new resolutions. i have been thinking about my new yr resolutions. probably will blog about it when it's done.

darling, if you are reading this, i just want to thank you for coming over to have a good talk with me just now. i know you've put in alot of love and effort in me and in this relationship and i really appreciate it very much.

sighs. nowadays when i'm feeling down, i can't get to sleep. i realise going for spinning and bodycombat classes will make me feel better. new avenues of venting out my frustration.

may 2010 be a better year ahead!!

2009-12-16T01:40:00.005+08:00

gosh it's 1.40am now! so late already.. so scared i will oversleep tmr morning.

been spinning for almost 2 months already (though a few weeks were not consistent) and so far, i'm enjoying it very much. i'm really glad that i tried and started loving it. thanks to my colleague who intro-ed me. :) anyways, will continue to spin as much as i can but cos of that, i hurt my elbow and wrist as well. probably over-exerted. oh wells, i'm wearing elbow and wrist guards nowadays. hopefully they would help lessen the burden on my poor elbow and wrist.

it's about 2 more days to flying off!!! i've packed about 80% of my luggage. i'm so so so excited! 2nd trip of the year.. but pity darling isn't travelling with us (remember your promise that you would bring me overseas next yr darling!) this time round. i've done quite a lot of researh already and a rough itinerary has been planned out, so i hope everything will go smoothly! :) most importantly is to have fun and be happy! guys, let's rock this trip!! our first overseas trip together! *yipppeeeeeeee!

okie. i'd better be heading off to bed now lest i overslp tmr! gd night everyone! :D

2009-10-20T22:02:00.003+08:00

went for spinning class earlier on. yes yes yes!!! i am quite determined to exercise more regularly now. probably cos of my interest in spinning class. it's a great one-hour workout, with minimal rest. fats fats, please go away soon!

i'm gyming again tomorrow! woooo hooooooo~ say cheers to healthy lifestyle! (hope the fire in me won't die down haha) in addition, i'm telling myself to sleep before 12am everyday (except for the weekends). healthy healthy healthy!

i've also told darling about my short-term plan/goals (the next 3 - 5 years). thanks for your advice and suggestions my love! i'll try my very best and be the best that i can be! :D

my life is gradually making some sense now... more meaningful too.

gd night all!

2009-10-11T23:59:00.007+08:00

2 years and 7 months on...

cheers to our 31st monthsary!

a lil' wonderful surprise!

the different cards arranged together to form this! :D

happy happy 31st mth anniversary my dear! :))) nothing beats your love and care for me! :D

2009-10-07T22:36:00.002+08:00

alright! finally done with a new blogskin! i love the pink layout of the previous blogskin but unfortunately, the owner's blogskin's inactive, hence i had no choice but to abandon it. since i've finally changed the blogskin, i shall not blog-shift anymore then.

yawns. spent hours doing this. tiring. i'm off now!! :)

2009-10-04T23:45:00.001+08:00

went shopping alone earlier on, after a tiff with him. and i guess you all know the outcome - a hole in the pocket. haha. splurged close to 300 buckeroos just now, on esprit clothes, charles & keith heels and a pair of levi's jeans. damn. but well, at least i felt happier after that. i realise that there're more sales assistants who are filipinos. and i like their customer service. they treat you with patience, very friendly and smile. i was served by them at all the 3 stores. i wanted to buy some stuff from body shop but in the end i walked out empty-handed. could it be that the sales assistants were local? that might well play a part in why i did not buy anything from body shop although i have something in mind. i'm quite particular of the service i get and more often than not, it is one of the factors that will determine whether to patronise the store or not. so far, japan is the only country/place that has won my heart in terms of the standard of customer service. their service is world-class i tell you! the japanese really made me feel great when i was doing my shopping there back then. woo hoo.

alright, time to head off to bed. it's weekdays again. :(

gd night!

2009-09-30T22:46:00.004+08:00

finally got my lazy butt to gym lately! this evening, i went back home, changed, packed, and drove to california (novena - cos it's the nearest to my home) gym. had a great & awesome workout! 1 hour of bodycombat session (perspiring throughout) and 15 minutes of jogging. Thereafter, off to sauna for another 15 minutes, and finally 30 minutes to bathe, change, blow-dry my hair, and pack up. so, a good-2hr spent there. but something happened when i returned the towels in exchange for my membership card. well, i don't wanna repeat myself so you can just read the email that i just sent to them earlier on below:

California Fitness Membership No. (if any): none cos' your staff misplaced my membership card

Your Comments, concerns or requests :

Dear Sir/Mdm,

I wrote in to express my disappointment at the incident that happened earlier on (just about half an hour ago) at California gym (Novena Branch). Just as I thought I could go home after a tiring workout, I realised that my membership card was 'swopped' with another person's, all because of the mishandling by one of your staff.

All I got was a question of 'When are you coming down here again?' so that I could collect it from the counter. Anyway, I have already left my name and my contact number with the staff, hopefully someone from your side could take the initiative to call the person who took my card by mistake and have it returned to me via post within a week. Without the card, it would cause me much inconvenience as I have to inform the person at the counter about what had happened and to provide my particulars. What about collecting towels and returning them? More hassles.

So I am hoping someone could show good customer service and initiative here.

Regards
Yvonne

end of story... i wanted to write 'I am expecting someone could show good customer service..." but changed it to 'hoping' cos it will make me sound like a demanding biatch.. haha. i feel kinda bad actually but i was really disappointed. i mean, they lost my card yet i had to go back and collect it on my own??

well, i could have been a happier person if this incident had not happened. but forget it, at least i had a good workout just now.

okieeeeee, photos to be up soon after the boyfriend sends me all my pictures which are all kept in his laptop. i have bought a new computer (i *heart* my LG 22" big screen monitor!!!) already~ heee haaaaaa!! thanks to darling and my brother who accompanied me to sim lim sq and IT fair that day! *big hugs* :)))

oh, and one more thing, i might be shifting (as in "blog-shift") soon. am still trying to figure out how to choose a new blogskin and stuff. quite tough and complicated for an IT-idiot like me.

gd night all! a big thank you to all those lovely people who cared and showed your concern upon the demise of my beloved aunt. i still miss her but i know she's happier in heaven, at least there's no pain and suffering for her anymore.

2009-08-23T23:28:00.001+08:00

was having dinner with dar and his family at goodwood park hotel last night when i received a call from mummy telling me that my aunt's not gonna make it. after bidding goodbye to his family, dar and i rushed down to ttsh. by the time we reached there, aunt was gone... i saw my daddy and my eldest aunt sitting down on the floor, crying their heart out. my youngest aunt was even more emotionally affected. she just kept crying and calling out my aunt's name. i couldn't stop tearing... we finally got to see aunt at the mortuary. at that time, i just couldn't stop crying. everyone was heartbroken, their eyes red and their faces with tears. darling hugged me as i cried my heart out. all of us just stood there crying non-stop, for over an hour if i'm not wrong.

i'm ok.. just that i'd tear at times when i think of my aunt; while driving, bathing and even now. i think it's another big blow to the yeo family. just two months after my eldest uncle passed on, my aunt was the next person to go.. i'm really afraid that my dad cannot take it. cos i know he's a family man, cherishes and loves his siblings very much. i kept telling dad to be strong as i placed my hand on his shoulder. he cannot fall, simply cos he's my most beloved dad. and i love him alot.

life is so fragile. and i suddenly feel that life is meaningless.

after battling the illness for about 3 months, she's gone.. really gone. i hope she's happy and well in heaven...... goodbye forever, my dearest aunt.

2009-07-12T19:53:00.003+08:00

inspiration and motivation from my all-time american idol, kris allen...

No Boundaries - Kris Allen

Seconds, hours, so many days
You know what you want but how long can you wait
Every moment last forever
If you feel you've lost your way

What if your chances are already gone
Started believing that I could be wrong
But you give me one good reason
To fight and never walk away
Cause here I am still holding on

Every step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain
Whether the hurricanes
To get to that one thing
So you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you've almost gave up on your dreams
Then take it by the hand
And show you that you can
There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries

I fought to the end to stand on the edge
What if today is as good it gets
Don't know where the future's headed
Nothing's gonna bring me down

I've jumped every bridge and I've run every line
I've risked being saved but I always knew why
I always knew why
So here I am still holding on

Every step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain
Whether the hurricanes
To get to that one thing
So you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you've almost gave up on your dreams
Then take it by the hand
And show you that you can

You can go higher, you can go deeper
There are no boundaries above and beneath you
Break every rule cause there's nothing between you
and your dreams

Every step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe

Yeah, there are no boundaries
There are no boundaries

With every step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain
Whether the hurricanes
There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries

There are no boundaries

2009-07-08T20:57:00.004+08:00

as of today, i'm officially an 'orphan'. darling has left for taiwan this afternoon. it was his grad trip with his uni friends. i could have tagged along!! but i'm having exams for the next 2 weeks (tomorrow being the 1st paper) hence i'm stuck here! argh. anyway, darling was really sweet to come over and keep me company last night. we went to amk hub's ntuc to buy some of his stuff for the trip. and then later in the night, while i was studying halfway, i dozed off. this morning when i woke up, i looked at him, and he woke up, with eyes half-open. i was quite taken aback cos he usually sleeps like a dead pig. haha. but it was nice to get a morning hug and sure felt good knowing that he woke up just to have breakfast with me. =) darling, thanks for the very sweet gesture! you're much loved and appreciated. *hugs* enjoy your 9-day taiwan grad trip! i will miss you loads. hopefully you can bring me to where you promise to end of this year. :D

knowing that my good ol' lappy is passing on, darling has also left his laptop for me to use. so here i am, using his high-performance lappy. as such, i'll just upload a few photos before i head off to revise soon.

last week was one of my lousiest weeks at work. i think only one of my jumpers understand how i feel. just can't get myself to cheer up. it's the same old issue that's been boggling my mind for the past 11 mths. i wish i could just move on... but i'm still trying to figure out what i really want in life. big thank you to friends who listened, and for all of your encouragement and support!

our trip to marina barrage!

our bkk trip! :)
outside the shopping mall at bkk, wearing our 1st couple t-shirts. -loves-
with ceo. haha, so i suppose more people know where i'm working at now...

goodbye for now! more uploading of photos next time i hope!

wish me luck for my first paper tmr! :D

2009-06-03T23:47:00.003+08:00

i know some of you have told me that i haven't been updating my blog regularly. yes yes, i am aware that there's gonna be spider webbies growing all over pinkyrocks if the writer continues to procrastinate. haaa. and i also have comments that my blog is turning emo-momo (i created this word. haha. should be quite obvious what it means, i hope). alright, alright.. more happy things coming up! that is... when i get a new comp first! my good ol' lappy of 3 years going on to 4 is going to pass on soon. gets cranky at times, pms on some days, and other days it just refuses to go as fast as you would want it. perhaps i shouldn't try too hard to overwork this poor lil' used-to-be-glorified tech gadget. haha, seems like excuses aplenty for the irregular, infrequent emo-momo blog entries.

well, there were happy events taken place in my life of course! words of description shall be spared, pictures will be revealed instead... except for this - kris allen has been crowned the american idol!!! you have no idea how ecstatically exhilarated i was at that point in time when lynn dearest sent me the most precious sms of that night, that kris allen has WON!!! i'm not, or was never a fan of american idol, and i don't really catch american idol episodes in the past until i heard kris singing "falling slowly". i fell in love with him thereafter. (sorry darling wong... i know you'll forgive me for this. haha)
*kris allen kris allen kris allen* -screams- (sorry that i'm still acting like a 15-year-old teen even though i'm already so old now)

ok, i'm off to catch some sleep! update soon!

good night,
happy von, happy me. =)

2009-04-25T00:00:00.002+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoTUNfjFCcA

oh my god... watch the you tube video. i wished i was still in nus!!!!! the spidey was real entertaining! very creative... :) arghhh.. makes me miss those times in sch! uni life was very stressful and it's especially so during exam period. those dreadful times when i could study till 4, 5am and skip many meals. it's such an effective diet strategy! now... *shakes head* i really need to get my butt moving soon..... -sighs-

oh yes! i went out with lynnette last night and just now! it's been really enjoyable and great hanging out with her! i just learnt so much from the things that she shared. i suppose i should learn to be more optimistic and contented... thanks babe! you have no idea how happy i am!!! *beams*

2009-04-24T00:00:00.005+08:00

income envy...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8008057.stm

... perhaps i was too blinded by the pursuit. do i really want it? and most importantly, is it something that i will enjoy?

it's back to basics.. back to square one..

where's the conviction that i used to have? where's the dream that i used to hold on so closely to?

i don't know what i'm thinking.... maybe i should just head to bed, sleep and forget everything...

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horoscope for today (which is so accurate):

The Bottom Line

Your vision for the future is foggy now, so take the time you need for clarity.

In Detail

Your vision for the future is a bit foggy right now, but you need clarity now more than ever. Therefore, in order to understand what you want for yourself, you need to take all the time you need to ponder where you want to take your life over the next five years. Do not apologize for being slow -- your future is too important! Luckily it won't take long for you to come up with a few ideas, especially since you see a great opportunity that could change everything.

2009-04-19T22:57:00.003+08:00

to my one & only you...

"this is one of the rare weekends that i'm spending without you by my side... and i miss you. i miss you so much. i just want to tell you that i'll always be standing by you, wherever, whenever, including this crucial period. i have absolute faith in you. you can do it my honey bun! just about 9 more days to freedom! can't wait for you to graduate! can't wait to see you!"

*hugs & kisses*
baby von =)

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i was watching american idol yesterday when i heard kris allen sing this song and i teared! it was truly touching!

Falling Slowly - Kris Allen

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

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been feeling discouraged and down sometimes as of late.. that feeling sucked. nonetheless, i just hope things will fall back into place soon. at times, the pursuit gets exhausting, mentally tiring especially.. but i keep reminding myself once and again never to fall, never to give in and never to give up. it's all in the mind, isn't it? i'm working on it. eventually i'll find my way to my destination, to where i want to be.

2009-03-18T00:55:00.003+08:00

the ceo and the higher level management in my company have been encouraging everyone to have a facebook a/c.. and guess what? i was 'sabotaged' by my colleagues and manager to be one of the facebook advocates.. and my role is basically to tell my colleagues about the pros of fb and to promote and persuade my department ppl to sign up for fb. *faints* i think it has to do with the fact that ceo has mentioned my name (note: not only my name was mentioned of course) in the email (relating to facebook). hahaha.. now i have to go around psychoing all my colleagues to have a fb a/c, and it ain't gonna be an easy task cos there're quite alot of older staff who's not very savvy in social networking stuff you see... :(

yup.. and now, i have two separate fb accounts! one for personal use, the other one's for work! haha..

gd night all. it's getting late!

2009-03-11T21:57:00.001+08:00

Here Without You - 3 Doors Down

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

....... this song's sucha tearjerker...

2009-02-05T21:46:00.002+08:00

ceo announced that there'd be no wage increment this year. it's a really discouraging news. but considering the economic crisis currently, security and no wage cuts are good enough for now i suppose. economic outlook is bleak, every day is filled with bad news about ppl losing jobs, companies making huge losses, banks doing badly etc... it's gonna be a very tough year ahead. so friends, if you wanna get me bday presents, the best gift is... hongbao! haha.. darling, for your info (and action) as well. lol.

on another note, things are not going smoothly for me too. there are some things that i'm not happy with. and it'll carry on for as long as where i am. i'm quite lost, all of a sudden. any decisions i make will have repercussions. can someone just help me get out of this maze?

i want to be optimistic. i want to be stronger. i....

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hope chinese new year has been great for all! for mine... there's nothing unusual... except that darling's grandpa has left us during the cny period. it's tough for him i know. but he's pretty strong. for me it's tough as well cos i treated him just like my own grandpa. i'm glad that i've been with and for him throughout the period. darlin', i just wanna let you know that i will always be here for you. you can always fall back on me when you need to. anytime. *hugs*

haven't gone to river hongbao! it's like sorta an annual activity? last year i went there with my cousins, brothers and the boyfriend. this year, we went to catch the local film "a wedding game" at shaw and then for supper at newton. it was a good bonding session.. we chatted and had a good laugh abt the jokes cracked by my crappy cousin weiming as usual. haha. hmmm.. anyways, hope to go to river hongbao before it ends next week! or is this week the last week??

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shd get going.. will upload photos soon. gd night all!

2009-01-19T22:38:00.002+08:00

i want to be an 'insulator'...

..someone who can go through anything and everything in life.

..someone who picks him/herself up when he/she falls.

..someone who's emotionally and mentally strong.

..someone who never gives up when obstacles arise but puts in even more effort.

..someone who believes in the pursuit of his/her dreams and will keep on working toward that direction.

and i believe. i believe in everything that i live for, that i want to live for and that i aim to live for. i believe all that i'm doing now will bring me to fruition eventually.

..my very conviction.

..strong will.

..endurance.

..perseverance.

..indomitable spirit.

if you have not, you need to start believing... in yourself.

2009-01-19T22:34:00.001+08:00

Horoscope for January 19, 2009

The Bottom Line

You have solid footing in your life now -- and a good sense of where you want to go.

In Detail

You'll have to navigate through some unfamiliar territory today, but this should not be a very scary experience for you. You have solid footing in your life, and a good sense of where you want to go -- but the same might not be able to be said of the people who are going along with you. They're in it for fun, and could distract you from getting serious stuff done. If you are wishy-washy about their involvement, then you have to let them know your concerns. Tell them to behave!

2009-01-01T22:44:00.007+08:00

hi all!! first and foremost, happy new year to all of you out there! today, being the very very first day of 2009, i sincerely wish each and everyone of you a very very good and blessed year ahead! may 2009 be a year filled with lotsa love, good health, fabulous moments, and for those who're still studying - fantastic grades/results, for those who have already started working - work hard and establish your very own successful career! to my loved ones (including my friends), i love you! each of you have made an impact in my life in very different and unique ways.. and i wanna thank you all for being so special. =)

today, being the very first day of the month (and year), is also darling ray and my 22nd month anniversary! thank you for the surprises my love. a very happy 22nd monthsary to you! thanks for being so sweet, like you always do. :) i love you and i hope we will grow old together. i promise that i will love you with all my heart. =)

the arrival of a brand new year also means that it's time for resolution-making! well, i'm not going to list down the many resolutions like i did for the past few years because i realised that i'd have already forgotten almost half of them a few months down the road. so this year, this 2009, i'm gonna just have 3 resolutions. yes, just 3. so here goes..

(not in sequence, all are of importance to von von)

resolution #1 - to spend more quality and quantity time with my loved ones (my friends included of course). i.e. to take the initiative to bring my family (including darling *beams*) out for meals and to other places more often, and to take the initiative to ask my friends or organise more gatherings and outings (cos yours truly is kinda the passive party. lol). there're quite a few friends who have asked me out but till now, i've not met them cos i was too busy! procrastination kills. i have told them that i'd arrange a date with them but have not done so yet. this is bad.. :( but i'll clear off these 'debts' for this coming new year! =)

resolution #2 - career. i.e. i may not be doing my dream job currently (yes, could have fulfilled my dream months back if i have accepted that offer) but i will make full use of this time (while waiting for my dream sector to recover and the economy to pick up) to learn as much as possible, to pick up new skills along the way, to improve myself in all aspects and to inject more confidence and drive in me! by then, i should be more equipped in fulfilling my dream job. i have also thought of alternatives. the dream job you have may not always be one that you enjoy/like. so, there're back-up plans for me. :) till then. but for now, i'm very determined to pursue and eventually fulfil my dream and make it come true! gambatte ne! =)

resolution #3 - health. i.e. my health has not been very good for the past one year. i will need to and have to keep fit and healthy for the sake of my resolution #1 and resolution #2. in order to fulfil resolution #3 so as to make #1 and #2 come true, i will try my best to exercise more frequently, do sports on a more regular basis, eat healthily, drink more water (i have this very bad habit of drinking very little water! bad bad) and sleep early (this is unlikely if i'm in my dream sector) or at the very least, to have sufficient sleep.

i do have other resolutions. but the above 3 are my priorities and i really hope to make these 3 resolutions come true in this brand new year! i'll keep them close to my heart and mind. =) i'll work hard. i'll put in the effort. i'll be determined and never to give up. i'll stay strong. i'll persevere. i'll make it. i'll succeed.

to everyone of you, i wish you a very happy and blessed 2009! may all your dreams and wishes come true. 2009 will be a better year no matter what. you just gotta believe in it. :)

p/s: i'll post up the pics really soon! have been too busy and lazy to do it. sorryyyyy!!

gd night all, gd night world. =)

2008-12-15T22:32:00.002+08:00

Horoscope for December 15, 2008

The Bottom Line

Step into your fantasy life for a while today. It will make your reality clearer.

In Detail

When you have some downtime today, you should make the most of it. Duck out of reality and step into your fantasy life for a little while. Get back in there and fill in some blanks with new goals, new dreams and new faces. Dream about where you'll be in ten years. Fantasize about who you will be with and what you will be doing. Putting energy into your fantasies will actually help make your reality a little more clearer. Daydreaming will help your day go by.

if only daydreaming would make reality come true...

2008-12-09T22:51:00.003+08:00

mickey darling has been coughing for a few weeks. about two weeks back, i brought him to the vet. his cough got better after taking medication. but one week passed by and he's still coughing. and last week, his condition exacerbated - more coughing, and each cough lasts longer and gets louder. sounds like asthmatic cough. finally brought him to the vet again just now. and this time round, it's real bad news. x-ray results showed that there were fluids in his lungs (which is abnormal cos it should be filled with air, according to dr tan). and mickey's getting old (already 12 years old). dr tan told me things weren't looking good. her words 'you better be prepared that he might go... probably a few more months if his condition worsens' brought me to tears immediately. i was trying hard not to cry in front of the vet but i just couldn't take it. i mean, he's been with me for more than half my lifetime. 12 solid years.. since i was 10. just a lil' young girl who's studying in a primary school. when i was just wearing the blue uniform, white school shoes, hair tied up and when baby-g watches and tamagochi were popular and were my favs... he's been with me for so many new years, christmases, birthdays, graduations (my psle, o level, a level, and even saw me through my university days!), and so many more. it's too hard a pill for me to swallow at this moment.

few years back, i was just thinking how time flew past and that age was catching up on us, and then i thought of mickey dearest, who's gonna turn 10 really soon. that was when i really dreaded.. when i really fear that he'd leave me one day. and ever since, whenever i go home, i'd just check out on him, and really, to see if he's still breathing. there were times when i thought he wasn't and i got really scared and called him immediately. he woke up, in a dazed state. i'd feel really bad that i woke and scared him, but at the same time really relieved that he's still with me, that i'm still able to call his name, pat him and hug him. can you imagine i'll no longer be able to do all those in the near future? unimaginable, unfathomable, unbelievable. i really hate to accept that very fact. that very cruel and harsh fact.

i was just telling dar recently that i hope i can have a female shih-tzu in future.. now, i'm taking those words back. i don't mind spending alot of money on them, on their food, snacks, accessories, hefty medical expenses.. even if it means spending much lesser on myself, i'd gladly do that. the very reason why i wish to take back those words now is because of the emotional aspect. i find it really hard to witness departures and separations. especially so when it's your loved ones.. the ones that you cherish and treasure very much. the very ones whom you would give up anything for them just to make them happy. i think i'll really suffer a breakdown if any of them leaves me. i can't imagine myself going through 3 rounds of breakdown when my 3 darlings do leave me eventually. -heavy heart-

i just watched 'bolt' last night.. and can you believe i cried despite it being a hilarious kinda movie? i cried cos i could totally feel what the owner of bolt was feeling when she lost him. and when she said that she missed bolt while crying and hugging her mum, that was when i really cried. i suppose only those who have dogs will understand. dogs are men's best friends, indeed!

i really hope god will let him spend more time with me. please don't take him away from me, promise?

tomorrow will be a better day... gd night, world.

2008-12-07T23:02:00.002+08:00

finally i'm able to take a break! i hope i'll be able to enjoy the last few weeks of year 2008 before a busy 2009 arrives! but first things first, i'm planning to do some cleaning up of my room, my living room as well as my balcony. time to get the christmas tree out once again! weeeeeeee!! i love christmas... great ambience! joyous festive season.. december's good! next up, i wanna do some workout.. going for jog more frequently and on a routine basis, i hope. play tennis and badminton, go for rollerblading and trekking/cycling. i wish i can fulfill my wakeboarding dream by this year.. but seems unlikely i suppose. =( but i do hope i'll be able to wakeboard by the first half of next year.

as for work, i'm quite determined to stay till at least the first quarter of 2009. will see how things go. wonder if 2009 would be worse than this year.. hopefully not. =( but... the current economic crisis doesn't stop me from moving closer to my dream.. at least i've made the first step to making my dream come true... although it's still far and not likely to materialise anytime soon, i'm sure my effort and hard work will pay off eventually. so my dear friends and blog readers, you may approach me if you need some advice on financial planning. =)

happy long weekends to all of you out there!!

2008-12-04T20:42:00.003+08:00

today is not just 'another day at work'.. i was doing some work as usual when my phone's ringing as usual. hate it when the phone rings. it just disrupts the flow and momentum of work.. "ring... ring... ring..." arghhhh.. i ended up answering the call.

me: "hello.."

siao char bo: "yvonneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"

me: "???"

me: "errrr... you are?"

scb (doesn't stand for standard chartered bank of course! haha): "yuping la!!!"

me: *very very surprised, delighted and super duper happy and excited* "ping!!!!!!!"

... heeee. she really made my day!! she actually called to ask me some stuff regarding work. really glad to hear her voice! haha. *muacks* been feeling restless the whole day till she called! hyped up!!~ weeeeeeeeeee! :)

to my rh girls..let's meet up soon! i miss all of you. each and everyone of you! =)

2008-12-02T20:41:00.004+08:00

Horoscope for December 2, 2008

Daydreaming can help you visualize a better future for yourself, so today going off to fantasy land could be a very effective use of your free time. Focusing only on your day to day routine offers no stimulation whatsoever, no matter how interesting your days have been lately. Your mind needs to escape to a worry-free place where anything is possible and the world can be whatever you want it to be. You will find that escape through your vivid imagination.

... i think i really need to escape to another wonderful world, to a better place...

i'm weary, really tired...

2008-11-24T20:14:00.004+08:00

managed to catch my fav 'tree of heaven' just now. missed my two episodes last week! grrrr.. hopefully can get to watch it tmr. the episode earlier on... i think 80% of the show, either my eyes were brimmed with tears or that i cried. sighsss. all of a sudden, i just feel really vulnerable. life isn't always smooth-sailing...

i'm planning to go home early for this week and next week (have been doing "voluntary OTs" quite often. now i know why colleagues don't leave on the dot during my 1st two weeks there. workload's crazy! but of cos, compared to uni life, those tonnes of reading during uni days were more overwhelming. haha) work's getting a lil' overwhelming and i might soon be buried under those tonnes of workload, which, unfortunately, never seem to end, and unlikely to go down anytime. faced two nasty ppl over the phone again today. sighs. shan't comment too much. i'm seriously getting really tired.. sometimes, i would wonder why i'm getting all these sh*t.. why i'm doing here and why i'm still here. yes, i admit i'd still look back to my dream every now and then. i know the sector's doing very badly currently. and i wish i have enough strength (both mental and physical) to keep me going... it'll be a tough period of abt two years or so before things start to get better. i definitely hope that i'll be able to survive through this difficult period. till then.

alright. wish me a smooth and good week ahead...

i miss school. i miss sec sch days. i miss jc days. i miss uni days.

2008-11-18T19:40:00.005+08:00

All My Life...

well, i think i've been really blessed for all this while. i have a wonderful family, and amazing parents who give me and my siblings fabulous childhood memories and good lives. maybe i haven't experienced enough hardship to know what hardship is all about, but i realise that as you grow up, you are exposed to much more things (negative, positive, you have it all. but more of negative stuff?) and gradually find that the world is, afterall, not as perfect as you thought it to be.

i must say that i'm really fortunate. cos the people i meet are generally nice. especially my friends. most are genuinely good and nice. never have i experienced 'politics', backstabbing or whatsoever among friends before. so in a way, others see me as being protected, leading a sheltered kinda life. well, it's not necessarily a bad thing. and it's definitely not a weakness. from that, i gather that being like that doesn't mean that i can be taken advantage of. of cos, being like that doesn't mean that i'm ignorant. just cos i haven't been through much hardship doesn't mean that i don't know about this thing called 'life'. fyi, i contemplate and reflect alot.. about the trivialities and significant matters in life.. in short, everything. i used to read alot during my sec sch days, abt how ppl overcame those trials and tribulations that they have had. sh*t happens to everyone, anytime. you just have to learn how to take it in your stride. i admit that i get affected rather easily, by words, rumours, actions, emotions etc. but over the years, i'm pretty certain that i'm becoming stronger and stronger. it's really true that hardship toughens one! whether you find me 'loh-so' or what, i still have to reiterate this: haven't been through adversities is not equivalent to being 'weak'. for me, i want to be stronger (emotionally), yet have that kinda sheltered life, protected by my loved ones. ppl do change.. and as i walk down this journey of life, as i experience more and more downs and tough times along the way, i will change, i will be stronger... so changes are, not necessarily, bad. that's why we hear ppl saying this quite often, "ppl change for the better". =)

i was just telling my colleagues that this job of ours is full of anger, sadness, exasperation, frustration, irritation, devastation, disappointment, disputes, complaints, etc (haha, ok it's intensely exaggerated) when they were just sharing some of the recurring problems that crop up every now and then. it's like when you clear one sh*t, another one pops out of nowhere and there, you go through the same process again and again. but i see it, or rather chose to see it quite differently. every problem that crops up at work is unique, cos circumstances are definitely different, and the people whom you're talking to are unique individuals, so how you handle the matter/person is important. and all these difficulties i meet at work, i reflect upon the processes and outcomes and try to learn from them. there are learning opportunities for me everyday, not just work-related matters but many other things as well. when colleagues share some personal problems with me, i analyse and i learn from it. at the same time, i'll keep reminding myself that i must cherish all my loved ones. also, i am quite particular when it comes to words and actions. what one says or does reflect alot on that individual. whatever it is, like what my daddy always teaches me over and over and over again, whatever you do, don't harm ppl. must/always have a clear conscience. (:

i actually respect some ppl in the entertainment industry. some say it's an industry where one would experience much, witness the (harsh & cruel) realities of life. to be in this line means you either get alot of support and love from your die-hard fans, or you get hated by ppl who hate you for no apparent reason. there're always the super fans, and of course, the super haters. i like to watch shows whereby these artistes share with the host about their lives, about how much they have been through just to get to where they are now... i want to be like them. i want to be a "doesn't matter what others say and continue living my own life and dreams" kinda person. darlin' often told me that i ought not to let others' words affect me, my emotional well-being, because afterall, it's their mouth, you have no control over what they wish or want to say. you just have to learn to take it and forget it thereafter. today, my colleague told me that he was conversing with this person from w/s and she kinda badmouthed me. i don't know what the exact contents were, but i could more or less guess it. well, i'm a lil' affected but guess what, my reaction to my colleague was, "doesn't matter!" and i meant it from the bottom of my heart. i know this particular person was being super irritating, could call me up to a few times a day when i had already let known to her of my final decision. my mentor told me that she's like that, just ignore will do. and today, *clap clap*, she kinda badmouth me. nice one, bi-atch. ahhhhh.. like what i always say, such are vicissitudes of life. =D i'm really glad that i'm experiencing all the problems and difficulties now, like nasty people who are not hesitant to scold you (even though sometimes, you're clearly innocent and not at fault) and who don't give a damn abt you, because they truly make me a stronger person. sometimes, i can't believe such ppl exist, or that such things are happening to me because all my life, i have never really come across such people. but but but... i believe it's definitely beneficial for my personal development. =)

having a positive mindset really helps! i never fail to remind myself over and over again that all the adversities that i'm going through right now, will be my ultimate pillar of support, will be the source of motivation for the pursuit of my dreams and to keep me moving on further in life. determination and perseverance, too. i've learnt those during my sec sch days and i will continue to keep them close to me. =D

ok.. it's been quite a long post. hope you haven't fallen asleep...... or have you?! *caught you! haaaaa.

food for thought, maybe?

p/s: one of the artistes that i really admire is felicia chin. i think she's a very optimistic and cheerful person. very genuine, friendly girl-next-door kinda person. i met her twice and those two times, she looked really cheery. and her blog is quite inspiring too. at least to me. my role model indeed. jiayou, felicia! =)))

2008-11-16T22:28:00.003+08:00

meaningful weekends...

friday (my fav day of the week!)
was on my way home after work when mummy dearest called. we were deciding whether to dine at home or outside and in the end, we chose the latter. dexter had just ended sch and was on his way to town to meet up with his gf. the four of us headed to town from home. we didn't know what to eat in town... wanted to eat at sakae teppanyaki but mummy doesn't really eat jap food so i suggested hk cafe. it was mum and dad's 1st time at cine hk cafe! glad they had a great time there. partly the food, cos they thought it was quite good. but i guess the main part of it was that that night was a great family bonding session for us all! during the dinner, we were talking about alot of stuff, like those fond memories we had especially when we were travelling to different parts of the world! talked about those funny incidents that happened in other countries.. in particular, in NZ and LA. and the really cool winter, great hotel stay experiences as well as the unforgettable tour guide we met in turkey. hong kong, australia, china, japan, indonesia, thailand etc were all the countries that our beloved parents had brought us to over the years. i really really appreciate my daddy and mummy for loving us, and bringing us to so many places! in my next lifetime, next next lifetime and for all the other lifetime of mine, i still want the two of them to be my dad and mum! i still want to be their daughter no matter what. =) you know, one of my dad's dreams is to bring us to europe. he's really the best dad ever.. he gives the priority to us rather than to himself, buys us anything and everything rather than for himself, and thinks of us before himself at all times. wonderful... that's why i always tell myself that i must work really hard to give them a good life, just like how much love, effort and time that they had given us willingly, with no complaints, grumbling whatsoever. anyways, we had a really good time eating together, laughing and chatting at the same time. ahhhh... really miss those weekly family days when daddy would bring all of us to shopping centres to shop for toys and have meals (our fav hangout places were marina square, plaza sing.. and boy have those two shopping malls changed so much!), marina south to fly kites, to the zoo and sentosa, to our fav restaurant to have tim sum (the famous hai wang restaurant which has closed down.. sigh) and so much more! oh yes, i paid for the dinner. haha. my 2nd treat for my family.. finally i'm able to earn money of my own, to bring my family out for meals, to give my parents allowance and all. next stop: dempsey hill. =) cos i think mum and dad haven't been there before. i don't know why.. but i love to bring them to places where they have never been to. (:

after dinner, we walked for quite sometime to see the xmas lightings in town.. and did a lil' shopping at tangs too. it was about 11 plus, close to 12 midnight when we reached home. superb time spent with mummy, daddy, brothers and one of bro's gf. wooo hooo.. =)))

saturday
nothing much.. was home the whole day. went to buy fish noodle as usual. ohhhh, did i mention that i never fail to eat fish noodle at the food centre near my house on every sat? it's really nice.. and there's always a long queue. haa. today was a lil' different. i walked down to the food centre alone.. without darling by my side. he wasn't able to keep me company for the weekends cos he had to revise for his exams. =( (ahhh, now that i've mentioned you, i miss you already sweets) so unlike eating at the food centre usually on every sat, i just bought the food back home to eat. princess dreads loneliness. haaa. after early lunch, i basically spent the time watching tv, reading newsp, and taking afternoon nap. hahaha. boring saturday.. *yawns*

sunday
had a doggies-and-owner bonding session on a sunday morning. unfortunately, it's not bringing them for a walk but for a visit to the vet. bobby's appetite has not been good (which is really bad cos he loves to eat!) and he's got some skin infection (which smells really bad), and mickey's coughing.. yup.. another 200 bucks gone. their consultations are way more expensive than ours! gosh.. but i'll never ever abandon them! (: no matter what!

came back home and went out with dad to have lunch. daddy brought me to zion road's food centre to have bak kut teh (his all-time favourite). i'm not really into this, but since it's his fav, i just acc him to have it since i'm not very choosy when it comes to food. after that, he brought me to this "chinese sin seh" (we always frequent this auntie at her house since young.. she's really good, according to my dad. when my dad has some ailments like backache, pain on the shoulder etc, he would go to her for treatment) cos i told him my neck and shoulders have been aching for quite some time already. my right shoulder was even more painful cos i accidentally strained myself while carrying mickey's cage this morning. the auntie told me that i had this problem for quite long already cos she could feel that my shoulders were really stiff. she said if this problem persists and that i seek no treatment, it could really be worse and that i'll have a hard time coping with the pain and aches in future.. oh gosh, this is bad! =((( i'm only 22.. yet i feel like a 80-year-old granny. shucks.. daddy says he's gonna bring me for treatment every week. after that, dad went to have a haircut, followed by a trip down to pasir ris area to see dogs and plants! i saw these two really adorable female shih-tzus!!!!!!!! they kept hugging my hands when i went closer to them.. very very very very very cute!! love them to bits and pieces!! they are pretty and hyperactive. kept jumping when i sayang them. heee. really brighten up my day! unfortunately, wasn't able to take photo cos it was not allowed there. really had the impulse to buy one of them. but sighsss.. three is more than enough at the moment. one of the guys (possibly the dog owner?) asked why i didn't buy female shih-tzus when i told him i had two male ones. hmmm.. i don't know!!! maybe i'll get a cutie female shih-tzu baby next time. =D

yup.. so that spells out my weekends..... hope all of you had a fabulous time for the past few days! for those who're mugging hard for exams, hang in there and jiayou!!!!! =) dar, this coming week, you'll be having industrial design and fluid dynamics exams... must work hard for these two papers alright! especially for fluid.. i know this module is tough (ok, i don't know since i have never studied for it before. but i think you told me before last sem that the basic level fluid was kinda tough, so i guess this module is the more advanced one?). regardless of what, persevere my dear! you'll always have my support! *hugs*

gd night all! =)

2008-11-11T20:59:00.002+08:00

troubles...

problems...

sighsssssss...

christmas is coming...

and i'm troubled...

because.........................

i

don't

know

what

i

want

for

christmas!!

.......cos the things that i want, are all in darling's "to-do" (or rather, "to-buy". heeee) list. hahahahahaha. last year's christmas gifts were esprit clothes (1 pair of jeans, two tops, 1 jacket and 1 long sleeve top)... and this year, i don't have to yearn for esprit clothes for christmas simply cos........ i'll be getting esprit clothes (1 jacket, 1 top and 1 bottom) from dar dar!!! hahahahaha.. he always claims that i'm worse than a loan shark.. lol. no dear, it's my attempt to work harder to be a better banker. lol. heeheehee.. =p sweets, 怎么办? what shall i get for christmas this year? *chuckles* what about pull & bear clothes? lol.

oh gosh, can someone pls stop me from buying more and more clothes!!

2008-11-11T20:53:00.002+08:00

i was on my way home just now when i thought of it all of a sudden...

i should be starting my class this week if i've accepted...

but i keep telling & reminding myself that i shouldn't look back anymore...

it's hard not to, frankly speaking...

well, i suppose it isn't a wrong decision...

i must look forward... i must not look back...

yes, i'm still holding on to my dreams...

2008-11-10T22:50:00.004+08:00

dar hid this cute lil' thing...
lil' did i expect...
...this!!
awww... *hugs*

sweet darling surprised me yet again over the weekends.. another lovely thing added to my collection, to my handphone. =) pleasantly surprised i was.. more so when it's my favourite 'me to you' bear.. so far, i've received 3 lovely 'me to you' bears from him. one big, one medium and now this, the small and really cute one. (: you're just so full of sweet gestures my love!

although weekends were spent at home (cos my baby boy has to revise for exams)... i enjoyed the weekends nonetheless.. thank you for the wonderful, amazing surprises. you just bring me nothing but joy & happiness. you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. i love you sweets. =)

this song is dedicated to you, my special dar...

My Love Will Get You Home

If you wonder off too far, my love will get you home
If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home
If you ever find yourself lost and all alone get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home boy my love will get you home
If the bright lights blind your eyes, my love will get you home
If your troubles break your strive , my love will get you home
If you ever find yourself lost and all alone get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home boy my love will get you home
If you ever feel ashamed, my love will get you home
If there's only you to blame, my love will get you home
If you ever find yourself lost and all alone get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home boy my love will get you home
If you ever find yourself lost and all alone get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home boy my love will get you home

i know this period is a crucial one.. but don't give up my dear! remember that i'm always with you no matter what. work doubly hard. we'll enjoy to our fullest after your exams! =) *hugs*

2008-11-10T22:39:00.004+08:00

tree of heaven...

last week, i was having my dinner when i happened to tune in to channel 56 on SCV. and ever since, i'm in love with this korean drama called "tree of heaven". especially in love with the songs played in the show. i don't know why.. but i always feel that korean songs bring out a very emotional me... probably cos they just bring me back to the nostalgic past. afterall, my love for korean show started just when he and i began a destined-to-end love story.. side track... anyways, for curious ones, it's shown on channel 56 every monday from 7-8pm if i'm not wrong. =)

2008-11-03T21:06:00.001+08:00

沿海公路的出口......

2008-10-28T23:14:00.002+08:00

i threw my dream away...

sighsssss... been feeling moody for the whole of today. probably it's cos i've declined the offer once again. afterall, it wasn't that easy to get it. but i still slipped it out of my hand due to many factors. i know opportunities don't come easy, especially in this vulnerable economic times... but i guess i wanted to be more practical and realistic. i don't want to pursue my dreams blindly. on a brighter note, i have very nice colleagues! especially ys and brian (though they always bully me haha). 3 of us joined the company together... and we talk about everything and anything under the sun! we even named ourselves "jumpers". hahahaha. cool name right. i shall not reveal why we came up with that group name! heehee. they're just fun and crappy! and the rest of my colleagues are pretty friendly and all of us get along well too. :) working environment's really one of the few consolations for myself now... (after declining the job offer, that is) besides, i have so much things that i want to learn and do. i wish to be more financially-savvy, to take up a 3rd language, to go for baking classes, to do more sports (oh, my wakeboarding, oh), bring my loved ones out to have sumptuous meals, have more time for my 3 darling doggies, and to meet up with all my friends whom i haven't seen for ages! anyways, as min "requested", i shall update my wishlist or the list of "to-dos" very soon! min!!! how's studies so far?? and boyfriend?! hope all's well and great!! update me! =)

apologies to vin! already arranged to meet up this evening but i had to postpone it cos i was really tired and moody for the whole day. next week, okie dokey? =) *hugs*

oh yes, my "dear" colleagues actually called me "eat potato" (hokkien translation)!!! -_-" brian was telling hh that he and ys were very shocked that i understand mandarin and even more so when i can speak mandarin and when they know i listen to chinese songs. -_-''' i don't know how i give them such an impression!! cos i do speak mandarin to them sometimes too!!! it's not like when they speak mandarin, i'd answer back in english. no!!! i never did that! actually i think they're not the first to think that i'm a "eat potato" person. even close friends thought so too! gosh...

okie... a very good night to all!

p/s: i'm sorry i declined my dream job offer.. i know that it's a rare opportunity.. but declining doesn't mean i don't cherish it, nor does it have any indication that i take things for granted. in fact, i do treasure each and every single thing/chance preciously given to me. and i certainly do not and will never take such things for granted. i think i've been really blessed by god. thank god (: hope you understand my reasons. and i definitely hope that more opportunities will come my way... *prays sincerely*

2008-10-28T00:15:00.000+08:00

spent a bomb on cds recently. i really haven't bought cds for quite some time already.. until 'bout 3 weeks back, i bought 3cds!!! oh gosh.. and i was complaining to darling that i wanted to buy derrick's cd but couldn't afford to since i spent alot on cds as of late already. and then.. two weeks back, he popped out this really pleasant surprise for me! he just took out something from his bag, and i was totally caught off guard! haaa! thanks my dear... it's really very sweet of you. so sweet... =) *hugs*

long weekends over the past few days! sighsss. working tomorrow again.. =( anyways, i wanna give a big big credit to you, my dearest. for accompanying me for the past few days. friday was spent having dinner at amk hub's new york new york and watching movie (max payne) with him, the next day was spent having dinner at revenue house with his family and relatives. sunday was basically lazy day for me (cos i slpt on and off while dar studied). and today....on deepavali, dar went back to sch to finish up and rehearse his presentation, and i went out with my brother to shop and eat in town. bought quite a number of tops... another burnt pocket. :'( can someone curb my spending!!!

ok, i better head off to bed. it's getting late and i still have work tmr. sighsss. think tmr will be a busy day cos i predict there will be more cases. ZzzzZzzzzzzz... and, very unfortunately, i'll be turning down the job offer again. yes, i turned it down last week actually. but the HR was pretty nice, even asked me to reconsider it. and now, after contemplating for yet another week, i've decided to turn it down once again. lynnette dear says not to regret and never to look back! and yes, i hope so too!! *prays* may more opportunities come along my way!!! *prays again*

night all!

2008-10-27T22:43:00.006+08:00

http://ugc.mediacorptv.sg/HeyGorgeousDetail.aspx?campaign=heygorgeous&item_id=UGC-3359&album_id=792

haha, click on the above! that's my brother! he told me he was sabotaged by one of his track & field friends. but nonetheless, i hope that you blog readers out there can help support my brother by voting for him! go go go!! hahaha.

2008-10-19T21:34:00.002+08:00

time really flies.. been in the working society for nearly 3 months already. well, i'm pretty much adapting to working life now.. and my colleagues and i are pretty bonded. haha. environment's pretty good, everyone's friendly and nice. my mentor's very helpful too.

actually, i'm quite worried 'bout the economy. it's deteriorating day by day. and it might be worse next year.. sighsss. very sad to know that quite a number of banks and financial institutions have either collapsed, bailed out or being bought over by bigger banks.. and as of late, there's been much bad publicity about relationship managers/personal bankers due to the minibonds, high notes etc issues. think not all rms/pbs are like that. not all are greedy beings, who only 'cheat' old follks' money. those are just the minority black sheeps. there are people who genuinely want to manage and help grow the wealth of their clients, just like i do. =) so please everyone, i hope you still have confidence in the banks..

hmmm... actually i've just been offered a job as a personal banker from one of the local banks. i have to give the hr person an answer by tomorrow. the past few days have been really tough for me cos it's a very hard decision to make. and i think i have more or less come to a conclusion.

anyways, hopefully the financial crisis will be over soon (which i doubt so). that's when we need.. miracles! =) for now, i'll continue to work hard! hee.

2008-09-23T22:07:00.005+08:00

those were the days........

let me talk about my sec sch days... those days were really, the best times of my life. there were no doubt bad times, but there were really memorable good times too! my school has given me many many opportunities, and i've learnt alot, especially in terms of personal development. i remember i was just a lil' quiet and a very very shy girl back in secondary one. but i was glad to have met my form teacher (our english teacher as well), miss wee. she was the one who encouraged me, often told me to be more assertive. i was even appointed a vice-chairman back then. and then subsequently, got chosen to go for the student council interview and ended up being a prefect/student councillor (we only call ourselves 'student councillors' when i was sec 3 onwards). then there was also a programme whereby students were elected to be a student mediator (need i explain? the words speak for itself i hope). and i was one of the student mediators. and again, that was cos of miss wee's recommendation and encouragement. i don't know if she still remembers me, cos we kinda drifted apart when i went on to sec 3. but i'm really grateful for her. of cos, there were other teachers whom i respect and whom i'm very grateful for.. like mrs sim (my upp sec english teacher), mrs poon (lower sec maths teacher), mrs leong (upp sec maths teacher), mr zaki (upp sec chemistry & form teacher), mr teo (my pe teacher & student council i/c.. he never fails to remind me of jos. his smile, the way he talks, his eyes, his looks, etc) etc etc etc.

...and that's not all! those were the times when i got to know great friends, when i got to fall in love, when i got my heart broken, ... great friends like my rh gang - paul, cin, ping, angie & hh; my bf - xuyu; vin; and my class guys. still remember paul & cin took the initiative to talk to me and the other girls on the very 1st day of sch! and my 1st impression of ping was that she's really cheerful! never fail to get very hyper when she sees me (that was when we just started to know each other only..). angie's someone whom i'm very close to ever since sec 1. cos we joined taekwondo together and spent lotsa time together. but we got our quarrels and arguments as well. haaa, angie, remember those times? haha... so childish back then. hh, only gotta know her thru jy. cos i remember jy used to tell me abt her. back then, i already knew that she's into singing and dancing (even till now!). heee. my bf.. haha... i still remember i accidentally saw her birth date (and i remember it since then cos our bdays are only 5 days apart! oh yea, she always says that i "peeped" at her birth cert.. pls bf, i did not!) and then fate just brought us together as the best of friends! of course, along the way, there were many obstacles. we had our fair share of unhappy moments, like tiffs and arguments and 'cold wars' (omg.. so childish! haha). but i'm so glad that all those are over already! our friendship's certainly strengthened alot more after all these years! vin... i remember we often hang out alot together, went shopping, went to her house and spent lotsa time cooking and eating together, looking at childhood photos etc. we even went on a double date! haha. with me & jy, and darren and her. hahaha. that was an unforgettable double date cos it was super awkward and quiet, with 4 of us staring & secretly peeping at each other. hahahaha. the class guys... peter james sat next to me when we were in sec 1/2 (can't really remember) and boy was he funny!! never fails to make me laugh and laugh. hafiz too!! i still remember we kept teasing each other, him telling all the funniest jokes ever and making me laugh. ahhhhh... wonderful moments!!! i was very close to frank as well.. always never fail to hang out together, always talk on the phone almost every night. haha. and jianhua, the forever crappy guy. we were still very kiddish even when we were in upp sec. i can still recall us chasing after each other and hitting each other around in class. lol. me & jy as well.. chasing and hitting each other and running around the classroom (but that was when we weren't a couple anymore). but the chasing around with guys made jos upset as well... =(

yup, also got a chance to fall in love. my mum always describes those relationships of mine as "puppy love". maybe for the first few. but there're two guys who really made an impact in my life, one's jy, the other's jos. together with jy for quite some time, over a year and a few months. come to think of it, it's quite funny cos we were both really really shyyyy! even holding my hand was not easy for him. the very first time he held my hand was when we had to go through one really cramped space in tampines mall and he grabbed the chance to hold my hand really tightly. he always has the habit of holding my hand really tight. and as time passed by, i realised that that was a gesture of love. that gesture actually meant, "holding you tight, never gonna let you go". he bought me lil' gifts every now and then for no apparent reason. we wrote diaries for each other. we encouraged each other to study hard.. jos, even though we were together for only half a year, this relationship, or rather, he taught me how to really love someone. he's the one special guy who always has means and ways to make me laugh really really hard, cracks jokes, teases me, gives me all sorts of nicknames, pokes my stomach, taps my right shoulder and then quickly stands on the left so that i can't find him, calls my name and places his finger near my face so that when i turn, his finger would poke my face, comes up with surprises, waits for me to walk up to the classroom together, sends me home after class, watches "autumn in my heart" with me on every thursday night (though not together physically), covers blanket on me when i fell aslp on the chair, sings love songs to me, gives me goodnight kiss, first guy to hug me, to make me cry really hard and badly for him, and that one unforgettable guy who really really really taught me how to love, to not only be on the receiving end but also the one who gives...... it was through him where i found my happiness, it was also him who had made me lose faith in relationships. but negative thing aside, he really made me change my perception in love, in BGRs, and i was very much more mature and realistic after the demise of our relationship. the thought of waiting for him and even converting my religion to his really did stay for quite some time after the end of our relationship. but gradually, i know that such solutions aren't gonna be workable in future. and he tried really hard to make me give up. eventually, i did. but not cos of the means and ways he did to make me give up, because the harder he tried, the more i knew he did it all for my sake. i suppose, i just gradually (but really slowly) got over him and learnt to let go along the way. yes, he was the one who taught me how to really let go of someone whom you love so much as well...

oh gosh! i've blogged so much!!! haha. if you notice, my recent entries were rather short. heh.. it's getting late now and i haven't even taken a shower! gosh... gonna be a panda in the office tmr! haha. well, this blog entry was inspired by my student! i was giving tuit just now when i told him to cherish his sec sch life in future, and sharing with him some of the funniest incidents in school (like the home economics lesson whereby chee chin, i think, screwed up and almost caused an explosion! lol!) and i realise the more i say, the happier i get. and that was when i really think that the best times of my life are indeed my days in spf! =) will try to upload my sec sch times pics in this entry once i scan them!! till then! (be patient haha)

those who were part of my sec sch life/days, thank you all so much! *hugs*

2008-09-16T22:43:00.002+08:00

it's been a really bad day today. no, not work-related but the feeling lasted throughout the day.. and even till now. and may even be so for the whole of this week. ...next week, the week after.

thankfully, i have people who are ever so supportive of me. thank you all so much. i almost couldn't hold back my tears in the office just now. it's so hard suppressing those feelings. it's so difficult to hold back the tears.

fortunately, not many (colleagues) saw through me, as in how i really felt, except for a couple of them. received a sms after work from one of my colleagues. he told me he could see that i was so upset today. hmmm.. ok at least majority of the people didn't see through me! *phew* to this great colleague of mine, thank you. thanks for the encouragement.

i'm tired.. tired in all aspects. i'm heading off to bed. at least dreamland is a wonderful place, more so than reality. at least i get to be what i want to be there. at least i know that my dreams are closer there. at least i can be (: all the time - every hour, every minute and every second.

night.

2008-09-16T22:38:00.002+08:00

dear god,

are you telling me that everything that happens, happens for a reason? are you putting me through a series of tests and trials? are you telling me something? do you wish to tell me anything?

just to let you know, i'm holding on still.. and i'll hold on to it. tight.

yours sincerely,
yvonne

2008-09-15T22:59:00.002+08:00

i'm feeling down.....

i feel like i'm drifting further and further from my dreams...

hmmmm. that aside.

big financial crisis currently. especially in banking sector. bad time.. wrong time.. to graduate. i foresee tougher times ahead...

time to toughen up.. mentally and emotionally. i'll work towards everything i want. i'll give in my all. i'll put in my best.

just hope that life will be good, if not better.

and... i wish that you and i will be happy together.

the words that hurt you.. i'm taking them back.

night all. night, world.

2008-09-03T23:49:00.003+08:00

attention: paging for miss woon yumin, please send me and esther the pics we took the other night!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it's a happy night for me tonight. (: regardless of the outcome, i'm just glad for everything that's happened tonight. it's a morale-booster for sure! =) thank you, god. really. from the very bottom of my heart, thank you.

2008-09-01T22:18:00.003+08:00

happy 18th month anniversary to you, my love!!! =)

it's been a great journey with you all this while, sweets. i know that no matter what, i can count on you! thank you for the lovely surprise that you prepared last night. i had a really pleasant morning when i woke up and read the lovely card. simple yet impactful. (=

i actually teared when i was reading the d-i-y card. dar... i'm able to finally read each and every single word that you wrote. heeeee. the contents are really touching and special. i'm so blessed to have such a selfless you, always putting myself above you. thank you for the utmost effort.. i'm so glad that we're still able to keep each other company despite our busy schedules. i really appreciate you for your love, care, concern, time, companionship, support and hugs! i've never felt so strongly for someone... till you came into my life. i know you're working hard for our future. and you know what darling? i'm working equally hard for our future too. i'll not only work hard, but doubly so! i'll nv give up on my dreams, on our future.. *hugs*

i love you, piggy darling rayyyyyyy.. baby von will always love you! =)

2008-08-17T14:48:00.006+08:00

i fell ill on wednesday! started feeling unwell and very cold on that day in the office. and then when i went back home, i had fever. on thursday morning, my fever subsided and i went to work as usual. my colleagues said i looked pale and told me that i shd have taken mc. i felt unwell but still had the strength to go to the office, so just went ahead without seeing the doc. but fever came back again on that night. the next morning, i smsed my mentor that i'd be taking sick leave. mummy brought me to our family doctor that friday morning. doc told me to rest and drink more water. said that i might have fever for the next two days and that i should recover by this coming monday.

now, i'm feeling much better already! still coughing a lil', still having slight flu but on my way to recovery! hmmm.. although it's a long weekend for me, it felt nothing like a long weekend! been resting at home... anyways, speedy recoveryyyyy to me!!

oh yeah.. last week, my mentor and i were chatting. found out that i'm actually the youngest in my department!! and she says that i'm "the baby of the family". hahahaha.. i was soooo happy that day! heeee... and i realised there're a few colleagues who're from nus, and coincidentally who did economics too! even the VP (2nd highest in my department) was a nus econs grad too! he told me that himself during the meeting! wow wow wow..

hmmm... having some tough time figuring out some stuff. don't know what i should do.. but i shan't think too much for now! will give it a thorough thought again when the time comes! no point thinking about it when it hasn't happened yet!

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sweetest gestures that caught me by surprise for the past 1 week...

surprise #1
suddenly caught sight of something when i was on my bed, looking up at the ceiling.. i was thinking to myself, "when did i have a soft toy wearing specs?" i really thought my eyes were playing tricks on me at that moment. then i got up, and i saw not only one, but two new soft toys! i turned to sweets and smiled. so, he's the "culprit".

why with specs, you may wonder. dar told me there's a meaning behind it. the specs stand for diligence, hard work. so the two baby pooh bears represent the two of us, to remind ourselves that we must work hard for my job, and for his final year! really really meaningful, don't you think so? *beams* thank you for the wonderful surprise my dear! =) oh, and welcome to our big cutie family of love and warmth, baby pooh bearsssss!!! :) (note: the pink baby pooh's not wearing her specs at the moment, just like me, wear specs only when necessary. haha. cos i don't think i look nice with specs, that's why i don't wear specs that often)
these two lil' cutie bunnies were given to me by dar as well! it's a few months old though. :D
also given by sweets. can't remember when it was, but it's also about a few months back.
another pooh family collection of mine! i bought them for myself! haha.. there's yet another pooh family collection set given by dar, but they're in the car! =)

weeeeeeeeeeee!! i still have lots of other soft toys! these are like only 1/8 of my whole collection! haha.

surprise #2
that day, i came back from my work and found this (look below) on the table! it's very related to my job and sweetest him managed to cut and keep it for me! *big hugs* to you, my love.

surprise #3
i just noticed the plastic bags yesterday. and i found out that he placed it there without me knowing at all!

yes, it's a carton of milo! omg... we were betting on something (which i can't recall) i think and the loser has to buy a carton of milo! i was reallyyyyy joking since he already bought me 12 packets of milo. never expected him to really buy it cos i know i can't finish them for nuts! now, you can imagine my fridge is full of milooooooooo! lol.. sweets, thank you nonetheless! i know i don't have to worry whether i can finish them or not, cos i have YOU! heeee.. *kiss*

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time flies when you're busy. weekends are going to be over soon! it's another week ahead.. jiayou!!! and god, please bless me and my loved ones with good health! =)

2008-08-05T21:50:00.004+08:00

my very first official working day was... overwhelming!! information overloaddddd... had lotsa things to learn. experienced how a meeting was like. my new colleagues and i were asked to sit in and watch our manager and a few of the senior-level colleagues discussing some matters. apparently, they've formed a team for a new scheme which was implemented recently (not able to reveal more here.. confidentiality! sorryyyy). and my colleagues and i are going to be in that team. and... i foresee that we'll be really busyyyyyyyyyy very soon as there's muchhhh work to be done and problems to be solved!! gosh... i'm kinda scared, for i'm afraid i can't cope or do my job well.. but at the very same time, i'm very motivated cos the tougher things get, the tougher i get too! it will definitely make me a much stronger person, and i'm sure my dream career will be tougher than the current one! so... it'll really be a great learning experience for me, no matter how tough and time-consuming it'll be!

and.. oh! today's also the very first time i managed to shake sooooo many ppl's hands!!! my department's on level 7 and we had to go down to the 5th and 6th levels to meet our other co-workers! so.. imagine the number of hands i shook! overwhelming!!

hmmm.. have been sleeping for only 4-5 hours for the past few days! i was supposed to have tuition after work, but i smsed my student to tell him i was postponing it cos i was really too tired. work was supposed to end at 520pm but we only left half an hour later. we only left because one of the senior colleagues told us to since he said it was only our first day of work. imagine when nobody told us to do so! hahaha... anyways, i think i will most probably be sleeping earlier tonight. i have to rest more to face a challenging day tmr! "bring it on!" says von! i'm really really determined to pursue my dreams... even though it's not now, it will be, in the near future! at least i know i'm working towards my dreams! it doesn't matter when, so long as i get there!! dreamsssss!!! i'm coming after you!!!!! *beams*

oh ya.. i saw ping yesterday during our office tour!!!!!! you all have no idea how happy and excited i was!!! unfortunately, i wasn't able to go to her, if not i'd have gone there to give her a big hugggggg!!!!! and i just read the email ping sent to my new email account set up for me by my company!!! the very first email!!~ special!!! thank you ping!!!! i love you! *hugs*

raymond's week (quoted from lynnette! haha.. apparently, cousin weiming was the one who came up with that! creative cousin of mine! haha..) is overrrrr.. lynnette asked me last week if that particular week was raymond's week since sch commences for him this week. and i was like thinking, "yeah.. it's really darling's week for me." cos ever since his entrepreneurship course started, we didn't really spend much time together. and for the past two weeks or so, he's got a break from the course, hence we were able to spend time together! i just love him for making the utmost effort to spend as much time with me no matter how busy he is! especially during this 3-mth hols, he's really done alot for me! accompanying me for interviews, encouraging and supporting me all the way, giving me a pat on my shoulder and giving me a cuddly hug when i cried really badly, never giving up on me no matter how many failures i've met all this while, bringing me out for dates, and many more! i feel so blessed to have you my baby boy! thank you so much for being here for and with me especially during my toughest times... i've been thru soooo much all this time! i really couldn't have done it all without you my love! thank you for the lovely sugar-coated words on the card (yes, yet another surprise! he placed a card inside my drawer on our 17th mth and i only found it the next day!), especially the part whereby you said that even though your school's gonna start and that i've just started working, you'll still make the effort to spend as much time with me as possible! thanks for the assurance dar! i have absolute faith in you. it's your final year already. on top of the hectic entrepreneurship course, you still have tough modules and the really tough fyp to go! i know that it's gonna be really demanding and challenging, but keep that optimism and positivity! that's one of the things i love about you sweets - optimistic, positive and cheery you. =) no matter what, i'll stand by you, always and forever. jiayou and work doubly hard my dear, you sure can do it!!!!! looking forward to seeing you get that sacred scroll on stage next year, convo 2009!!!!! and then we'll be a graduate couple! *wow* i *heart* you!! =)))

just for you, my special you, my dearest you... *loves*

2008-08-04T23:52:00.003+08:00

i was on my way back this late afternoon, listening to songs as usual... and this song, one of my all-time favourite songs actually, made me tear in the train. cos it feels as if this song is sang to and for me. the combination of both the lyrics and melody... it's just... impactful. overwhelming.

Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

slping soon.. the two-day orientation has ended. tmr's really the very first official day at work! gd night all! bless me! pls god..

2008-08-04T01:26:00.007+08:00

latest update...

to each and every single one of you who's reading this, beloved friends and passers-by/blog-hoppers, i have started working! hmm... it was hard for me to choose between the two job offers, but in the end, i realised that the one that i've chosen is more relevant to my dream job.. so yup.. and yes, i've started on my first official full-time job! yes, it's not my ideal, my desired job. very sad.. kinda hard to accept that very fact.. but i'm gradually accepting it. have been doing some serious reflection and contemplation these few days. even though this job is not something that i wanted, it's not something that i dread either. at least, i know i'll be able to make good use of this opportunity to pursue my banking dreams.. it'll be a good stepping stone, like what ping has told me. so it's not as bad as it seems to be initially. in fact, i feel quite happy that my company is willing to give me a chance to excel, and to push me further in life. hopefully by then, i'll be ever ready to strike my career in the banking industry.

a few days back, i read in the newspapers that the job market's less optimistic currently, especially in the banking sector. there's this economist who mentioned that fresh graduates who intended on getting into the banking industry could well be disappointed. well, yeah, it has affected me, and i'm sure, has affected other fresh grads who really wanna get into banks! i've been reproaching myself all this while.. why was i so nervous during interviews? why did i not try to calm myself down? why was i so lousy? why did i not try harder? .......but now, i realised that it's not entirely about me. it's also due to many other factors.. like the pessimistic job market that's making employers more cautious about hiring and prefer experienced to fresh grads like me, and other reasons. guess i shouldn't have been so self-reproaching.

another issue.. i just hope that people can just stop comparing my cousin and i.. yes both of us are of the same age. yes, both of us graduated from the same uni. but... you guys forgot that we pursued different courses. hers is more specialised, while mine's a more general degree. and we're in totally different fields. of course the salary wise would be different. stop all those shallow talk.. people are just so superficial. they only look at things on the surface. high pay = great future?? maybe yes.. and maybe no too! investment bankers earn alot, but they work really hard and put in alot of time! sometimes, it's like a "no life" kinda career (no life as in not much personal time). it's really getting very irritating and frustrating that i hear people saying that my cousin earn this much and i earn that much. sometimes, i just wish i can hide in one corner or disappear from the world. so that i can't hear words that pierce right through my heart, words that hurt my pride and ego. but then again, i wanna thank them.. cos at the same time, it's also my motivating factor! dar is right.. i shouldn't be too mindful of what others say. cos the mouth is theirs, they can say whatever they like. but for me, either i can choose to hear it and be very upset about it, or i can choose to listen it and take it all in my stride and be more driven.

thank god for darling and friends who are ever so supportive of me, of everything that i do!!! thank you so much for those who were so happy that i've found a job! the other day i received a call from a private number.. i answered and straightaway there was someone literally screaming!! got a shock la!! hahaha... it was my dearest ping! she's sooooooo happy that i've got a job!!! and we are not only close pals but colleagues also!! ok though not in the same dept.. but still.. heee... ^five ping!!! *muacks* really glad that you're sooo sooo sooo happy and excited for me!!! hahaha..i really really appreciate all of you who are genuinely happy for me!!! thank you all so much!!! it's been a really discouraging and tiring journey... and i'm glad that i've been there and done that... glad that i've experienced those downs.. cos i know it has opened my mind and made me a stronger individual... and know that there are so many of my loved ones who care so much for me! you all have been very very supportive!!! *hugs*

really late now!! better head to bed now for it's yet another week of work coming up! gd night all!

- whatever happens, happens for a reason... - really love this phrase cos everything that happened to me just makes sense totally! i may not be in where i wanna be, but where i am right now, will push me to where i aim to be eventually. i know that i will be in my eventual destination one day. =)))))

2008-07-28T03:59:00.003+08:00

gd morning to all!! it's 4am now and i still can't get to sleep... so i'm here to blog for a lil' while before i head off to that dreamy land of mine.

went to work on friday! just a one-day temp job at a japanese insurance firm though. lol. but it's my very first time working at raffles place! cool. but the uncool part was the morning crowd!!! omg! it's really terrible at the mrt station and in the train. i could hardly breathe with all the people squeezing together and i was literally sandwiched in btw people. lol. couldn't drive to raffles place to work cos the erp and parking costs are crazy!! i remembered parking there for merely two hours plus and the parking cost amounted to abt $15!!! almost got a heart attack! and i've certainly learnt my lesson. =( ok anyways... the people there at the japanese firm are pretty nice. so overall, quite a good experience! heehee..

then after work, i went back home to change and take a shower before going to amk central to meet cousin weiming and his gf, lynnette as well as darling ray. we met at amk mac and had drinks there, after which we went to s-11 for supper and chat! we chatted for reallyyyyyyyyy long!!! cousin weiming's very crappy and i kept laughing.. lynnette's been very very encouraging and supportive.. kept telling me not to give up on my banking dreams. you know, chatting with her really made me much more optimistic and positive.. she's just really good with words. a very outspoken and vocal girl.. i'm sure you'll make it big in the financial industry lynnette dear! as for me, my plan now is... 走一步，看一步. the economy's health is deteriorating, and the market's rather volatile now.. the whole economy outlook doesn't look all that optimistic. so.. i don't want to expect too much or pin too much hope on anything and everything. of course, as what i've told lynnette, i'll be more optimistic and positive, and will not give up no matter what! all those pessimism and negative vibes.. *shooooooo* i'll not give up that easily! thanks for organising this mini gathering, cousin weiming and lynnette!! really had a great time interacting with one another! and by the way.. we met up at 9plus and chatted till almost 4am!! yes.. that's how much time we spent talking and talking until we've forgotten about the time! haha. after sending them back home, dar and i headed to woodlands to his friend's father's funeral. along the way there, i was sharing my thoughts and feelings about what lynnette and i had talked about earlier on with darlin'.. and as i was talking, i started crying.. cos i was just telling him how discouraging and demoralising it has been for me all this while. it just reminded me of that incident on that day. sorry if it seems ambiguous to all of you.. just don't wish to talk about it. sharing with a few loved ones is more than enough. i don't wish to announce it to everyone. i feel that sharing things with others has been getting increasingly harder for me to do now. i'm not usually like that. it's really not difficult for me to do that in the past. but it's not the case now... sometimes, i just bottle up everything. i just try to suppress all the -ve feelings. and at times i can't even cry to vent out my frustration and emotion! which is really bad for me cos i know i'll feel worse if i don't cry to let it all out. yes, that's how bad it is..

really hope to be a more optimistic, positive and confident person in time to come... faith and hope, i need ya.

2008-07-20T22:33:00.016+08:00

NUS Commencement 2008!

my convocation was on the 9 july 2008, wednesday, at 10am. it was definitely a memorable and unforgettable day as my dearest loved ones were there with me! well.. i'll just let the pictures do the "talking".. =)

on the night before my convocation, i received a lovely surprise! totally unexpected! i was using my laptop that night when i heard the doorbell ring. thought it was my brother so didn't find it unusual. and then my maid came to my room...with a bouquet of sunflowers (my fav!!) and graduation bear. so, it wasn't my brother but the deliveryman!!! i was soooooooo shocked! and the moment i saw the envelope (even without reading the contents), i knew who it was from!! it was paul's handwriting!! read the card.. saw the well wishes from my 5 dearest girls!! i was so so so so so happyyyy!!! sooooooooo touched i tell ya! that there were tears in my eyes when i was reading the card and was smiling all to myself. i dare say it's one of the best moments in my life!! who'd have thought that my girls actually sent those sweet things to me! yes, how i wish they could witness my convocation but due to work commitment, they weren't able to make it. but i didn't ask them cos i know all of them would be working since it's a weekday. anyways, thank you so much my darling girls!!! i love all 5 of you! =)))))))
happy me!!! :)
carpark - on our way to UCC.
taken before the ceremony.. presenting to you, my lovely family! =D
my daddy darlingggg and his sweet princess. =)
mummy dearest and her precious! :)
proud parents. happy daughter.
my darling. his baby.
the moment.

yes.. that's me. i was soooooo afraid that i might trip and fall on the stage. or my name would be mixed up with other people's. thank god. none of those happened. i did what i kept telling myself to do before getting that "sacred" scroll - walked to the dean, gave him my megawatt smile (ok, exaggerating here. haha), received the scroll from him, posed in front of the camera and then walked down the stage. all these happened within just 10 seconds? yes, i only took up that small portion of the 1.5 hr ceremony. just 10 seconds of fame and glamour. lol.
me, after receiving the scroll and getting ready to walk down the stage.

balloons! brrrr... i was kinda scared when all the balloons descended from above. but happiness > fear of balloons. ^_^
the yeo family! and i wanna thank daddy for buying the lovely bear for me! when my family members were eating and that i just came back from the washroom, i realised daddy was not with us. nobody knew where daddy was!! and then he came back with that lovely graduation bear (with my fav colour pink grad robe!!). knowing that i love soft toys alot, he actually went to buy the graduation bear for me!! so sweetttttttttttttt! i love you daddyyyyyyy dearest!! and not forgetting mummyyyyy dearest, who's given me a big big angpow before we set off to my school that morning! i love you mummyyyyy!!
my two younger brothers! =)
my sweetie pie darling ray! *hugs*
us. again.
me & my ex-neighbour from temasek hall, adeline!
also from temasek hall, gillian..
yeah, darling's buddy, melvin, graduated with me!! also an econs major.
big group!
yes yes!! managed to take a pic with my favourite econs lecturer/tutor, dr lee!!! =) and i love this shot so muchhhhhhhh!!! i personally find it really niceeee!~
lion (large), me (medium), bear (small) and darling ray.. =)

my dearest rh girls... i brought the flowers & bear along!!! their presence is = your presence girls!!! though all of you can't be there physically, i know you girls are always with me nevertheless. =) and paul, thanks so much for watching me online... yes this really sweet girl actually watched the ceremony throughout! just to see my up on the stage. i really appreciate her so muchhhh!!! *hugs*

graduate lo!!! *yippeeess*

yes yes.. my hands were so "busy" that day.. need to hold this and that. hahaha.
yeahhhh!!! that's my best friend!!!!! i'm sooooo happy she came!!!!! *beams*

laughing away...

9 years of friendship. and counting. =) thank you, bf. *hugs*
yipppeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!! finally graduated lo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)))

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
back home... after the convocation...
graduate von with her beloved naughty bobby..
graduate von with her beloved "mr nice guy" mickey..
graduate von with her beloved mickey and hyperactive yang yang..
it was dar's idea. my sunglasses on the graduation bear. haha. it was unexpected. i only found out when i turned my head and saw it. cute.
and then i copied his idea. lol.
quite dark cos i used my camera to take this photo.
same for this.
tada!! dar actually went to get the professional photographer to help us take nice shots and then bought the pics for me! thankiessssssssssss my love!! =) *hugs*

that's all!!! will try to blog more if i can.. till then!

2008-07-16T00:05:00.003+08:00

Horoscope for July 16, 2008

Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20)

The Bottom Line

Friends feel like you're hiding out from the world -- let them know you're fine.

In Detail

Friends might be feeling like you're hiding out from the world right about now, so touch base and let them know that you're doing okay. Time is something you want to spend by yourself, and this is a healthy thing to do. Your energy level is strong, but it's not social. Mixing with other people and sharing small talk is not as fulfilling as curling up with a favourite book, taking a long walk, or experimenting in the kitchen. If you're a homebody right now, that's a good thing!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

just a short post here. the horoscope for today is kinda accurate i feel. oh wells. curling up with a favourite book? yeah. just bought a book but haven't touched it yet. will do that when i have more time. taking a long walk? yeah. been going out for shopping lately. experimenting in the kitchen? yes yes!! i want to!!! i shall start baking soon (hopefully)!!

"Friends feel like you're hiding out from the world -- let them know you're fine." --> hey all, i'm fine here!!! =)

...so you see, isn't the horoscope rather accurate?

...hiding out from the world...

p/s: will post up decent blog entries pretty soon. i know my rh girls can't wait to see my grad pics! haha. but don't expect much.. i didn't take many pics. till then!

2008-07-02T01:49:00.003+08:00

was chatting with cousin weiming's gf, lynnette, last night via msn. and it turned out to be a really enjoyable chat with her! realised we're very similar in many ways... except that i'm alot quieter than she is (of course i'm not saying that she's very chatty, but she's really outspoken and vocal i feel. and it's a good thing!). hahaha. really talked about alot of things last night at an unearthly hour. at like 4am?! about jobs, the future, the past, the boyfriends, "badmouth-ing" the boyfriend (hahahaha), and some girl-ly talk. haha... we were so talkative that we didn't even realise that it was getting really late. and in the end, we only got to log off at close to 6am. lol. chatting with lynnette dear is really very enjoyable. we think alike and we share the same views on many issues.. it's really nice to know of someone whose conviction's close to mine. and she's really really encouraging! makes me feel more confident and less inferior. teeeheee.. hey babe.. if you are reading this, i just wanna say a BIG THANK YOU to you!!! it's really great chatting with you.. so much so that i kept laughing in front of the laptop when we were talking about something hilarious.. haha.

may life ahead be better.............. gd night all.

2008-06-29T15:01:00.003+08:00

i was watching tv yesterday when i happened to switch to hbo channel and had the chance to watch this really touching movie - pictures of hollis woods.

extracted the plot from wiki:
"After Hollis Woods (Ferland) ran away from her last foster parents, she is placed with a new foster mother, a retired art teacher, Josie Cahill (Spacek). Josie is very caring and a talented artist, and her life could be told in her wood work, but Josie is also not very well (Alzheimer's disease). Over time, Hollis becomes Josie's caretaker, and comes to realise what it is like to have a family."

it's a really heartwarming show. do watch it if you have the chance to.

i need to watch this kinda show.. they're truly inspiring.

...so many dreams to fulfill.
...so many hurdles to cross.
...trials and tribulations.

ups and downs, peaks & troughs, vicissitudes of life...

2008-06-24T02:54:00.005+08:00

yes.. you may be wondering what's with all the grad pics above.. haha. actually what triggered this blog entry today is cos i'll be collecting my graduation robe this coming wednesday. yup, my very own graduation robe! and no.. i didn't rent it. i bought it. may seem a waste of money to others who think that the graduation robe will only be worn once in your life. but for me, it's more like a memento, something that will remind me of this once-in-a-lifetime event. moreover, if i were to take a family portrait, i can wear my very own graduation robe! heee.. my convocation's on 9 july 2008, wednesday, 10am. thank god that my convocation's not at night. phew. can't really take good & clear pictures at night you see. and by the time it's over, it'll be rather late. so daytime's better i feel. hmmm.. pj and xinyu won't be attending the same slot. =( sighsss. as you know, i'm rather "friendless" in school. so... -shakes head- but it's ok. as long as my loved ones are there. (: doubt my close friends can make it for this very important event (at least to me) of mine, cos it's a weekday and they have to work. hmmm. pity. and rather disapp. but but but.. it's really alright. =) i never really asked or told them about it, cos i know they'll be busy. so... rather than being rejected, i'd rather not do anything about it.

yup.. can't wait for that special day!! it really means alot to me. may not be so for other people because they may think that 'oh well, it's just a ceremony. no big deal', but for me, it's a day when my parents can witness their lil' princess getting that very scroll on stage. it's a day when i'll feel proud of myself because my parents are proud of me and that i've completed my tertiary education, fulfilled my childhood dream. furthermore, it's representative of the end of my life as a student. yes. no more school life. it's officially ended. final closure. next phase of my life's coming up. hopefully soon. (:

von von's commencement 2008 - 9 july 2008! *beams*

ps: the graduation bears are so cuteeeeeeeee! haha.

2008-06-23T01:58:00.002+08:00

was just listening to some songs (via my blog's music player) and then this song was played... "all about you" by aaron carter. that feeling came back. after so long. my heart just sank.. that song, once made me feel so happy and fortunate before, has different effects on me now. a tinge of sadness, nostalgia. somehow, it just reminded me that time has indeed passed by really fast. just like that. blink of an eye. 6 years and going on to 7 years soon... i wonder how things are now. hopefully all's well.

i miss the days when someone actually sang love songs to me... i miss those romantic love songs played on perfect 10 during those days... i miss those dedications that were specially dedicated for me.

really glad that at least i've got wonderful memories of the past. no doubt there were the downs.. and really really tough and miserable times. but the ups were really amazing. those very happy moments, pure and simple. bliss. everything that i've experienced then really did change me alot. i thank god for those things.. be it happy or sad..

2008-06-19T00:43:00.002+08:00

i really love to watch belinda's show on channel u. forgot the title but it's about her travelling to different parts of the world, in search of ordinary people doing extraordinary things! i'd feel very very very touch whenever i have the chance to watch it. didn't really follow closely every week, but those episodes that i've watched have all made me tear because i was really touched by the gestures and words of belinda and those amazing people. each time i watched it, i'd reflect alot.. today's (or rather yesterday's since it's past 12am) episode has reminded me once again that i'm actually very fortunate. seeing those orphans/children living in poor conditions really pains me. it's really heartwrenching....... yes, now it's yet another phase of my life. and such life transition is especially difficult, because each step you take is crucial.. every step you take has repercussions. and i actually feel rather lost. never in my life have i felt so lost. but no matter what happens, i'll try my best to stay positive and be optimistic.. and most importantly, never to give up for i still have many unfulfilled dreams waiting for me to fulfill.

yup.. yet another moment of deep reflection, of pondering, of contemplation..

gd night all.

2008-06-11T21:37:00.005+08:00

seems like my entries are getting more and more depressing... -sighs-

things aren't getting any better. but i'm very fortunate that my loved ones are here for me. all of your words, encouragement and consolation kept me going all this while. really needed all of those. it's true that i was on the verge of giving all up. but after much reflection and thorough thinking, i ought to get rid of that stupid thought.

i met three of my friends, one of them on last wednesday, another on last thursday, and the other one, yesterday.

met vin last wednesday and we did some shopping at marina square and suntec. walked over to the flyer for dinner at popeye's (pardon me if i got the spelling wrong)! she was the one who suggested eating there, told me the chickens are quite nice. and it's really true!! nicer than kfc's. even the mashed potatoes (i love it!). did lotsa catching up.. she's been very encouraging and all! thanks vin... really appreciate for everything that you've done for me! =) as usual, she taught me some make-up things.. haha. i'm really lousy when it comes to make-up. i'm one who's too lazy to even put on make-on. lol. but i'm more disciplined and less lazy now.. =) she helped me choose some make-up stuff. heeee. yes yes, i'm a 'failure' when it comes to this. i'm learning ok!!! haven't seen her in school last semester except for our kickboxing classes! (and we missed quite a number of lessons haha) vin, jiayou for the rest of the semesters!! you're doing very well and i'm sure you'll do better!! i have faith in you. =)

and on thursday, i met sumali.. i haven't met him ever since my 21st! that's like more than a year already! i'm so happy to be able to meet him up for lunch and we chatted alot. lunch at fish & co was gooddddd! and many thanks to him for that lunch treat!! =) after that, received a call from mount pleasant, told me that bobby could be discharged (more updates on that!) from the hospital. and being the great gentleman as usual, he accompanied me to the vet. sent bobby back home and after that headed to town for movie. it was good seeing him again. he's a really nice friend to have. never fail to encourage me, keep telling me to continue trying and never to give up. thank you my dear friend!! =)

i met up with lingxuan yesterday. haven't seen her for ages too!! like what she mentioned (in her blog), it was really a simple meet-up (simplicity rocks!). we had dinner at marina square's changing appetite (they serve lotsa desserts and drinks! i like!) and did lotsa catching up. had a good heart-to-heart talk with her. and something she said keep me thinking... she said i looked tired & troubled. i don't know.. but i tried to hide whatever problems i have when i'm with friends. cos afterall, i only see and get to hang out with them at times, so i don't really want to affect them by showing them that i have problems and all. hmmmm.. seems like i can't really mask my feelings that well. she said i used to be cheerful, happy and optimistic. which is true. i mean, was. and that let me recall something i told ping in the past. i said i wanna/wish to tone down and be less noisy.. and she told me not to do that at all cos then, i won't be the same von already. seems like my "wish" is coming true now... i don't know when it all started. but after what xuan told me yesterday, i realised i'm not that chatty and noisy as before. even when i'm with the girls, i wouldn't talk as much now. good observation, xuan! i think you're right. i'm starting to realise that. we were wondering whether it was a "growing up" thing. is it true? hmmm... i'm not too sure. partially true i feel. i'm already pessimistic enough... yet i'm bogged down by all these things, and they are making it worse. making me feel more pessimistic, discouraged, demoralised, ... whatever negative words you can think of (yeah, you get the drift). i think i really ought to do something more productive, that will let me stop thinking of all the negative things for the time being. till now, i haven't even done all the things that i've always wanted to do. it's all been empty talk. haven't learnt baking cakes and pastries, haven't gone for wakeboarding sessions, haven't signed up for diving course, haven't gone for rollerblading/ice-skating, haven't gone for trekking/nature exploration trips, haven't been to sentosa as many times as possible (cos i have the membership but it's expiring in a few months' time. sighss), haven't fulfilled any graduation trips, haven't done many other things. sounds pretty bad, i know. pathetic life. anyways, xuan dearie, thank you very much for listening, giving me advices and encouraging me!

oh yea, cousin xinyi and i are talking again!!! we used to be really really close when we were young. but we drifted apart ever since secondary school days. and we didn't even talk at all when we saw each other during chinese new year or other family gatherings. guess we were too shy? but i'm so happy we're talking now (ever since this year's cny)... although not as close as we used to be in the past. back then, we were sooooooooooo close that we're like sisters! it's such a pity... that we didn't talk for such a long time! her 21st's this coming sunday. but she's not having a big celebration. though i won't be celebrating for her, i'll find something nice for her. =)

and cousin weiming chatted with me just now, using her gf, lynnette's msn! no wonder sounded so different.. i was like thinking to myself, "how come lynn sounded soooo hip hop.." lol. cousin weiming's someone whom i grew up with.. he's a big part of my wonderful childhood days and memories! he also encouraged me, told me not to give up, not to be disheartened and discouraged. thankies cousin dearest! =) and he said something similar to what xuan told me yesterday. said i was confident, cheerful and always knew what i wanted to do in the past. and come to think of it, it's really true. i used to tell others my ambition with conviction. now, i don't even know what i really want in life. =( where's my confidence and conviction! where have all of you gone to? please come back, will ya?

know what? i may sound really depressed and all, but i'm contented to have friends (you know who you are... and don't think that because i didn't mention you here, you're not one of them! yes, you're in fact one of them!! even those who're quietly here for me. haha. bhb la me.. i know. lol), cousins and family (including darlin' ray of course!) who are always here for me. i know i'm fortunate. this is definitely a tough and depressing period/phase of life, but i'm never gonna give up.

will post up more pics soon! too many pics to sort out already... =( and my laptop baby's getting very very slow now.

laters!

a song which a dear friend of mine (hope you know who you are! *beams*) sent it to me, coupled with lyrics in the email quite some time ago. really describes how i feel all this while...

Journey - Angela Zhang

It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you

Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong

I know I will falter I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to you

Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through?

Cause It's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath those stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
Cause It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you ... to you

will i be able to find my way home...?

2008-05-29T00:22:00.004+08:00

i'm back! back back back!

well... life's been pretty alright. thanks to all who expressed concern about the recent accident that i met.. be it thru msn, sms or my blog's tagboard. i'm ok now.. and still alive and kickin'. i will try not to drive on days when i'm not feeling well in future.. baby cooper's alright now. speaking of which, i really cherish her alot now. which was so unlike of me when i first received it from daddy. and i seriously think that she's such a beauty!! really very nice. haha.

hmm.. haven't been doing much other than spending much time with him. he's been accompanying me almost everyday ever since exams ended and i really really appreciate him alot. this will all come to an end soon when he starts school next week. school's gonna be pretty hectic for him and we'll have even lesser time to spend together. he keeps assuring me that he'll spend as much time with me as possible. and again, i really do appreciate his constant assurance and re-assurance.. something which i feel i need to hear. at least those words make me feel a little better.

these days.. i've been thinking hard about what i want to do exactly. still haven't come to any conclusion yet. but i suppose, i'll take up whatever opportunity that comes along. of course, i'll not accept anything blindly. i just hope that i can gain more work experiences, build up my level of confidence, learn as much as possible and to have interest in what i do. and many thanks to my lovely friends who have been encouraging and motivating me. you people are my pillar of support. i'll not give up. never. darren shared this quote (which i find it really motivating and inspiring!! really!) the other day via msn:

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." -- Michael Jordan

thanks my friends... i'll stay positive!!

can't believe i haven't fulfilled any of my graduation trips! goshhhhh.. to think i was really looking forward to the trips during my last semester! really wish to travel before i start work. but seems unlikely currently.. *sighs*

anyways, went for haircut, dye and treatment today! (yesterday to be exact since it's past midnight now) mummy called and told me to try it out at this new salon, which is just two doors' away from where my aunt's working. actually it was my aunt who informed mummy about it. the salon's just opened (actually not officially opened yet) and there's this package (haircut + treatment + dye) at a very affordable rate. so my mum and i decided to try it even though we've just had haircut not too long ago, like last week for me, and two weeks back for mummy. haha. the overall experience was quite good. hairstylist was quite attentive. she took quite some time to trim my hair. could tell that she really made the effort and time to cut my hair. i'm quite satisfied with it though it's quite short. haha. nvm. my hair will grow.. =)

gd night all!

2008-04-21T15:34:00.004+08:00

graduation trip...

sad to say (in fact, very very sad)... grad trip is postponed!! received a call on saturday from the travel agency that our packaged tour to australia is cancelled! actually... kinda expected it cos the other day dar called to make enquiry about our aussie trip, the agent told us there were only four people who signed up for it (including the two of us! -_-"). and the tour will only be confirmed if there's at least 10 adults. arghhh. so... there goes my grad trip!

hmm.. we actually wanted to do independent travelling in australia but decided to postpone the trip to the end of the year instead. not thinking of going to australia if it's the end of the year cos it wouldn't be the winter season then. so... we are actually thinking of hokkaido!! *yipppeeesss* i sooooo wanna go to hokkaido ever since i set my foot in tokyo, osaka and kyoto!! hahahahaha.. yesss man! the other time when i was in japan, i didn't get to ski cos it was quite expensive (and not worth it cos we could only ski for two hours). this time round, i hope to do it in hokkaido with darlin'!! haven't done so in such a long time already!! my 1st try was in korea.. dar's first skiing experience was in korea too! =) hopefully, my grad trip will be fulfilled!! of course, grad trip to taiwan with the girls at the end of the year too! *beams*

it's the term break this week, aka mugging week!!! 1st paper on this coming saturday!! *dreads* jiayou everyone!!!

p/s: sorry nigel... not going to aussie anymore! so can't help you bring some stuff from singapore!

2008-04-17T23:50:00.013+08:00

last day of school in NUS... gonna miss school life!

17/04/08 (thursday) - my very last day of school in NUS! mixed feelings.. on the one hand, i feel sad cos i'm officially out of school and no longer a student.. i won't get to walk into lecture theatres, tutorial/seminar rooms, meet friends for lunch, wander around in central library and every part of the university, print notes in central library and as7, rush to do group projects and individual assignments and term papers, be stressed up by the tonnes of/seemingly never-ending schwork and truckloads of readings (ok, i'm exaggerating. haha), drive to school and park at the usual spots (temasek hall & eusoff hall carparks, src carpark), take exams in multi-purpose halls at src/halls (and this sem, i have two papers in the most ulu/remote part of NUS - PGP!! gosh!), take modules from other faculties, get lost in other faculties... the list goes on.

there were some things i never got to do or places i have never been to during this 3-year stay in NUS - never been to gym and swimming pool, never join any ccas (when i told myself time and again that i must join this and that before the commencement of each sem; even before i entered the university, i already had plans on what i wanted to join, like dance, fencing, rollerblading, tennis, wakeboarding and golf but i never got to realise any of those things. as for dance, blame it on my low self-esteem. i couldn't pick up enough courage to go for the audition, not to mention about joining the dance club/society/team, whatever you call it), didn't go on a student exchange programme (what we call "sep". blame it on my low self-esteem again! thinking that i definitely won't get it, i didn't even try applying for it! arghhhh!), didn't work/mug hard enough even though i told myself that i must put in more effort during the next sem, never really tried to take the initiative to talk to people or make new friends during class (thank god for a couple of them who took the initiative to chat with me first! phewwwww...), never been to faculty of dentistry, faculty of law (back when law fac was in kent ridge campus, before it moved over to bukit timah campus.. david yeoooooooooo.. sobssss.. anyway, i did walk past law fac before to get to biz fac for classes but never really stepped into law fac), UCC (fyi, university cultural centre. and come july, i'll be there for my graduation ceremony!!! yipppeeesss! shucks, i haven't ordered my robe yet), university hall (which looks really nice and classy.. i'd pass by uni hall whenever i'm on my way to sci/computing fac and vice versa)... again, the list goes on.

but there were other things that i'm glad i did or experienced.. i've joined sports camp back in 2006 (think i was year 2 then?) with yanguang (didn't expect the sports camp organised by science club was filled with people from science club and it turned out that only yg and i were non-science students. lol), experienced hall life (though only for one sem, it was a memorable experience for temasek hall orientation camp was the best and the longest (10-day camp if i rem correctly!) camp that i've ever attended in my whole life! joined photography club, took part in inter-block tennis competition, helped out in rag, went around asking for donations on flag day with my orientation group (but we ended up watching movie and falling asleep halfway in the cinema cos we woke up really early that day. worse when all of us slpt late the night before and were deprived of sleep), attended rag & flag day with all temasekians and experienced the utter disappointment when our hall didn't emerge as the winner of the chancellor's shield (because for the past consecutive years, we beat all other halls!), and of course, more importantly, i got to know two close friends, namely, xinyu and peijun in temasek), joined sea sports camp with my dearest rh girls, paul & cin (finally got to try wakeboarding and windsurfing like i've always wanted to!), involved in a play (part of the exam for my theatre studies module) and worked happily with my group mates.. we even practised in one of the lecture theatres in SDE. guess that was the first and last time i'm ever gonna step into SDE fac. really never regretted taking theatre studies cos i totally enjoyed the practical lessons! no stress, just fun! ...what else? hmmm... have explored all the faculties in NUS except those mentioned earlier on, and thankfully, i got to see and eat at the new arts canteen before i graduate... the list goes on yet again.

really wanna share and upload all the pictures up here but i can't really do so cos it'd be quite time-consuming. i'll do that one day!! =)

hmmm... on the other hand, i look forward to the future! no doubt i'm scared... afraid of the uncertainty and having to deal with more complicated issues and people in the complicated working society, of not knowing what lies ahead upon my graduation and whether i'll find something i really like/interested in... but the happiness outweighs the fear actually. the joy and happiness of finally fulfilling my childhood dream - to enter university (though i really wanna do business-related course, or more accurately, pursue an accountancy degree.. a pity my grades wouldn't allow me to do that) and the happiness of not taking anymore examinations! (i know there'll be many "exams" awaiting me but those are different kinds of exams.. what i'd call, perhaps, "trials and tribulations"?) you know, one thing i often dread and am very nervous about is exams, really. the pressure & stress and also, the expectations set by myself and others... never mind if i can't live up to my own expectations, but i'm more afraid of not being able to live up to expectations set upon by parents (note: both mummy and daddy never once pressurised me to do well, never did push me to keep studying.. so in a way, i'm not so much affected by that but perhaps, more afraid that i'd be letting them down. i mean, they have done so much as parents, and what i think i could do as their daughter is, at the very least, make them proud. so i always push myself to strive for the better but alas, stress and high expectations got the better of me!) likewise, expectations set upon by teachers during my secondary school and jc days... i could perform relatively well (academically) in school but when i know that teachers (some of them) have high hopes/expectations for me, i'd tend to go downhill.. dumb right, i know. i must learn to transform those stress caused by expectations into motivation and strength! this is something i must overcome! but i suppose, more importantly, i ought to live for myself, not others.

oops. long-winded again...

yup.. just some food for thought. i'm in a contemplative/reflective mood again... hahaha. as usual.

gd night all!

2008-04-17T00:10:00.006+08:00

future...

well, just had a short chat with mummy. was telling her my first paper's on next saturday. she told me she'd be preparing bird's nest soup for me.. *yippeeee* i'm very happy not because i can get to eat the delicacy but because it's mummy's gesture of love and concern for me! you know, it's been ages since she made it for me. she'd prepare bird's nest for me during secondary school days, especially when exams were around the corner. but i don't remember eating it after that. not too sure why. maybe she forgot. or maybe she's busy. i don't know..

i also told her that i haven't started job-hunting and sending out resume yet and that i'm worried. this matter's been keeping my mind occupied during the whole of this semester. really got me thinking as to what i want to do in future. she asked, "why worry?" then said, "it's not like we (dad & her) can't support you after you graduate." true, but i just can't help but worry. darlin' also told me not to rush into finding jobs but more importantly, to take things slowly and do something that i really like. that's true as well.. especially when i don't quite enjoy this 3 years of varsity life (except having known a couple of good friends). i really hope to do something that i'm very interested in, that i'm really passionate about. in the past, when friends and relatives asked me what i want to do in future, i told them, "i want to work in a bank" without knowing exactly what i want to do there. it seems that i'm following blindly the footstep of many undergraduates. many want to work there just because it's a bank. many just want to work there without knowing what they really want. i was like them. but at least i'm more focused now.. i know what i want to venture in. although not 100% sure, at least i have a few options in mind already. and now, the good thing is, i'm more open and flexible as to what i want as my future career. banks aren't my only option, unlike in the past. hmmm... i'll just let nature take its course. hope i won't keep worrying and keep thinking about it. no rush... really no rush about it. i really ought to learn not to follow what the majority's doing.

hope i'll find something that i like... =)

2008-04-10T00:50:00.005+08:00

fat fat fat!!!

ohmygodddddddddd! it's getting from bad to worse! have been indulging in too much good food as of late! (cos of birthday celebrations, anniversary dinner, sudden xiaolongbao cravingsssss, suppers, etc) and eating chocolates (thanks to dar.. who has insatiable cravings for ferrero rocher chocolates recently.. and being someone who has a veryyyyy sweet tooth would find it really hard to resist such temptation!) as well as other sinful snacks don't help alot... in conclusion, my baddddddddd habits are backkkk again! it's really really bad.. =( *sulks* plus, i haven't gone for kickboxing class for really long already (sorry vin..). been really busy. tmr's the last lesson and i'm giving it a miss! (what a waste of money!) i must really start exercising before i turn into one big fat ugly monster. *super duper sad*

well.. life's been the same. have been very busy with tests, assignments and projects! this semester's busier than the past few semesters. really weird.. it shouldn't have been like that since i'm gonna s/u two modules. nvm, if i get decent grades for the modules, it'll be a bonus for me (except that my s/u options will be wasted *sulks*). hmm.. it's just less than 3 weeks before i graduate! goshhhh.. sounds so scary. and the scarier thing is, i haven't started finding jobs!!! i better start soon. friends around me have been doing so, and some even found jobs already! godddddd! i still have no idea what i really want! how?!

darlin' told me just now over msn that he's selected to go for this entrepreneurship course. i'm happy for him! it's not like any ntu student who wants to take up this course will get it. they'll have to go through an interview first. and.. he got in! (although sadly, his friend didn't) hmmm.. but the down side is... we'll have less time together. cos the course takes up the bulk of his 3-mth hols. moreover, he's got to work.. so... yup. anyways, i did encourage him to take up the course when he told me about it. even though there'll be lesser time together, it's alright so long as he learns much from it. jiayouuuu dearie. you have my utmost support! (:

alright. i'd better be off to do my work now. last term paper to go!

2008-03-31T06:03:00.002+08:00

"happy together... always!"

happy birthday to my dearest you, my special you! =)

i love you always! *hugsss*

2008-03-19T01:06:00.004+08:00

hi all! it's 1am now and i still can't sleep. lots of things to do.. sighsss. sch's been pretty cruel to me, throwing me alot of work - term papers, group projects, assignments and tests! fell ill last week.. am about 70% recovered. yup.. haven't fully recovered yet. i've been skipping quite alot of lectures since last week. partly cos i wasn't feeling too well. hmmm... i have many unfinished 'business'.. all the deadlines are near and the stress is building up. i really thought this final semester would be a more relaxing one since i'm gonna s/u two modules, but seems like i'm so wrong. nvm.. like i say, i wanna learn to treasure my school life more. and its only a month plus to stepping out of school and entering the working world. everytime i think of graduating, i'll feel lost. everything's uncertain. i don't even know what i really want. and i'm worried about lots of things (about jobs, in particular), in addition to the crazy school workload. my head's gonna explode any moment. *takes a deep breath*

skipped today's lectures again. and only went to school for the 1hour investment banking talk by ocbc. i guess investment banking doesn't suit me. or you could say, i'm not cut out to be in this line. well, the talk was insightful. at least i learnt something! am open to more options now. don't wanna restrict myself to just the banking industry. for now.. i'll just try to finish up all the schwork. like what dar told me, do one thing at a time. i'm about to go crazy cos matters pertaining to both school and job are occupying my poor brain.. i need to focus on just school now. *school school school* -chants-

one of my rh girls fell out of love recently. i know how she feels... i've been through that several times. the heartache and pain... they're just beyond description. i hope she will learn to be strong. and i just wanna tell her that the rh girls are all here for you. time is the panacea to everything! have faith, my dear friend! you will get by this excruciating pain... you will. just let the rh gang be your pillar of support. we are always here for you!

just read the comment that my boy left on her blog. i'm really touched by his words. even more glad that he did that for my friend cos it means alot to me! so much more than you can imagine. really happy that he's met almost all of my friends - secondary, jc and uni. it's a really wonderful thing that he can get along with my friends and vice versa. =) and our relationship's going well despite lil' squabbles here and there. i feel so blissful with you by my side.. *beams*

ok.. just a quick update. i've already started an entry on the recent events (pics included) but it's still incomplete. so i just saved it as a draft for the time being. until i'm less occupied... which may have to wait till exams over for me? haa.. we'll see. actually just wanna blog to vent out the stress in me. yup.. *takes a deep deep deep breath once again*

i'm off! -have faith-

2008-03-01T00:00:00.002+08:00

we're one year old!!

happy 1st year anniversary, my darling dearest!

it hasn't been an easy journey... but it has been a very fulfilling and meaningful one. no doubt there were downs... but more importantly, you came into my life, giving me the love that i never imagined i could ever receive, giving me the happiness and joy that i never thought i could ever experience.. i love you.

i'll hold on to you dearly.. never to let you go. a lifetime promise... =)

01.03.08 -- our special day.

2008-02-20T00:00:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to myself!! -sings birthday song- i'm offically 22.

2008-02-19T22:30:00.003+08:00

it's one and a half hour more to my 22nd birthday! well... i don't exactly know how i am feeling right now.. but all i know is... i'm not feeling exceptionally excited or happy like for the past birthdays, especially during my sec sch life. hmmmm... i guess back then i was still young and kinda worry-free, so happiness came abt easily? and what's more, i know i would have friends to celebrate it with me in school. back then, i rem celebrating it by getting sabo-ed by my dearest friends (you know who you're!!!) by getting thrown water bombs at, and jy celebrated it with me as well. the following year, which was back in 2002 (a really really special birthday cos it was 20-02-2002), i reached school, arrived in the classroom in the morning after assembly and found gifts and card placed on the table by jos. also received gift from the rest as well. first 3 months.. also had my oi classmates to celebrate for me and during my jc days... i had my class to celebrate it for me as well. received my bday gift from the class as well.. and yz bought me a really huge soft toy and a nice necklace that year, even waited for me till evening cos i was part of the committee for one of my sch's events and had to stay back to settle some stuff. hmmm... but for the past 2 years (uni life, that is)..... nv got to celebrate it in nus. haha.. pathetic i know... but cos my birthday was during the recess week, so didn't have to go back to school. as for this year, yes, i'll have lessons tmr and i'll be in school on my special day! hmmm... maybe i'm not too used to going back to nus on my actual birthday, hence, the feeling of 'sian-ness'. and thinking of how everyone's too busy to celebrate my birthday with me tmr... it's even worse. blame it on my 'greed' and selfishness.. i cannot be like that! i will be understanding.. just that i can't help feeling somewhat different now as compared to the past. hmmmm... but i'm totally grateful for the people who have wished me happy birthday in advanced, and of course, to my dearest girlfriends, dar and patrick for the advanced birthday celebration last friday!! =))) i should be more than contented... yeah, i'll keep that in mind.

hmmm.. about an hour to my birthday as of now... the big 22!!! =/ getting old.. really OLD already. haha. but at least it's not that bad, cos dar is going to be in his MID-20s soon too!! hahaha.. mid-20s.. lol!

bye all.. and i wish me a very happy 22nd birthday in adv!! =))) may 2008 be a great year ahead for me~ *beams* -sings happy bday song loudly-

2008-02-18T21:37:00.005+08:00

advanced 22nd birthday celebration...

so happy that i had my girls to celebrate my 22nd birthday with me last friday. met them after my tuition at suntec city. ping wasn't there with us for dinner cos she had class. =( hmmmm... after dinner, they told me that they'd be going to pitstop cafe to celebrate my birthday. hahaha... kinda expected it cos i received a few messages from our sec sch friends, wishing me happy birthday and one of them even apologised that he couldn't make it for my birthday celebration. lol. so i drove them from suntec to pitstop cafe (all 5 of us squeezed into my small small car.. haha). when we reached there, i saw ping and another guy from a distance. didn't wear my specs, so couldn't really see clearly. when i finally got to the seats, i saw patrick.. then when i was about to sit down, i saw someone familiar!!! it was dar!~ hahaha.. gosh.. what a pleasant surprise! anyways, the 8 of us played some games there, then followed by celebrating my birthday. supposed to be 22 this year... but there's only 21 candles on the cake!! lol... think the swensen's person made a mistake? not sure about that. but it's ok.. cos i wanna be forever 21!! hahaha. yup.. thank you girls for the birthday cake (though i know it was bought kinda last minute cos i know this gathering's been brought forward such that you girls didn't have enough time to prepare for my stuff)! ice-cream cake rocksssssssssss!! heee.. and not forgetting, the esprit voucherssss! haha.. ehhhh.. where's my birthday card huh? huh huh huh?! *giggles* anyways, dearie surprised me yet again when he took out a red sk jewellery paper bag and gave it to me. i thought i would be receiving my gift on my actual birthday but never did i expect to receive it on that night from him. yup yup.. a really gorgeous two hearts necklace. and i love it so much!!! thanks darlin'.. *huggies* thank you everyone for the advanced birthday celebration!!! thank you girls for making it come true!! for surprising me by asking my boyfriend to turn up at pitstop without me knowing. hahaha... and i really think that the "6 dolls representing the 6 of us" gifts... they're really meaningful!!! the black doll really made me laugh so hard la (sorry ping.. haha)!! will upload the pics soon when i get the pics from ping! didn't take alot with my camera.

hmmm.. actually i would have loved to celebrate my birthday on the actual day itself. i don't know why.. but only on the actual birthday, i would feel special.. maybe that's what you call "birthday mood"? haha. well, at least i got to celebrate last year's birthday with my girlfriends, family and boyfriend (but we were not together yet that time).. as for this year... perhaps it's cos my birthday's a weekday, that's why the girls brought it forward to last friday. and my parents just told me that they were unable to celebrate for me on the actual day cos of dinner with their business clients/friends. =( and dar dar's having a quiz the day after my birthday, so we are only going to have a simple celebration on that day. hmmmm..... such a big contrast as compared to last year's right? haha.. but it's alright, for i'm glad that my dearest girls have celebrated for me already. really really appreciate you girls so much for everything!! =D and a very big thank you to all my loved ones!! all of you made me feel sooooooo soooooo loved!!! heee.

alrights... will try to update again, especially on the pics... laterssssssssss!!!

2008-02-13T01:36:00.001+08:00

i skipped school today (should be yesterday since it's past 12am now)! self-declared "holiday" for me..

of relationship, downs and more downs, pain and heartaches...
the past one week has been a very very unproductive one. did not touch any sch stuff at all despite all the work piling up like crazy. well, cny's been good i suppose. met relatives whom i haven't seen for ages. hang out with cousins (both maternal and paternal) together and had fun (great cousins bonding sessions i would say!). also had a few reunion dinners with his family and relatives (my very 1st time experiencing such a thing.. never have i done that with other ex-boyfriends in the past before). but this past one week plus has been a really tough one as well. he and i had been quarreling.. it's like we argued for a day, then talked things out and then settled but the cycle just repeated itself again the next day. i suppose both of us just got really tired from all the disputes and quarreling that we said things that we didn't actually mean it in the very first place. i've been really very upset that i cried so much on days when we had arguments. it has been really emotionally-straining for me.. just when things started to get better on sunday, i started it again the next day. i almost put an end to our relationship on monday (two days back, since it's past 12 now). i almost lost him. we were supposed to meet on monday night cos my mum wanted to have a reunion dinner that night at my house but i told him not to come when he asked me if i still wanted to see him. after cooling down, i smsed him during tuition if he wanted me to go to his sch to pick him up but he didn't reply. when tuition's over, i smsed him again but still no reply from him. thought he might still be having class so i headed straight down to ntu to look for him. the drive to his school was emotionally-taxing for me but it also made me realise that i didn't want to lose him at that point of time. it made me drive even faster upon realising that i really didn't want to lose him. finally when i reached, i called but to no avail. it was only then that i realised why i didn't receive any sms replies from him - his hp batt had gone flat. i didn't know what i was thinking then, but all i knew was i wanted to see him badly and i just drove straight to his house to look for him. got lost in his area... and had no choice but to head back home. got back home at about 9plus, after an hour plus on the road... he came to my place at 10plus!! he was actually on his way to my place when i was on my way to his school to find him. he didn't know that i was heading to his school at all! we sat down, his hands holding firmly with mine, and then he started to talk to me, to explain things to me. he said he came down all the way from school just to explain things... by then, i was crying... the more he explained, the more i cried. then he hugged me and at that moment, i felt even more strongly about not wanting to lose him, that he meant so much, so much more to me... i think i was too overwhelmed by all the disappointment and sadness that i actually chose to think it my way and refused to listen to whatever he has to say/explain earlier that day. and that some things had to happen the day before that i thought it was too much of a coincidence that made me think otherwise and misunderstood. darling.. i just want to say that i'm really sorry for reacting like that when i really shouldn't have. you know i really didn't mean it. and i really love you so much for cherishing me like a precious gem. you mean so much to me... so much more than i've ever imagined in the past. thanks for coming down all the way just to explain things even though i told you that you didn't have to meet me for the reunion dinner. thank you so much for the things that you said that night, especially the 110% thing (you still remember, don't you?). i'm sorry for causing you so much pain and heartaches.. i'm sorry for the things that i said that hurt you so badly. just like you said that you'd 'want to work your ass off to keep my fears away and vowed to improve our communications and set things right', i'm gonna tell you now that i'll also do the same, especially to work on my impatience and short-temper. i can't imagine my life without you. i'll cherish you and our relationship so much more from now on... i love you.

of friends and their relationship...
besides an unproductive day spent yesterday, a friend called me and told me that her relationship's over. her boyfriend's my friend too. and i chatted quite long with her and another friend of ours (conference call! it's been ages since i've done that!! think the last time i did was when i was sec 1?! haha). and then it was another long chat with the guy friend. i really do hope they can talk things out and sort out everything together. really don't wish to see them apart for they've been together for a few years already. what's more, from what i heard from both parties, it seems to me that there may have been some kind of communication problem, that they have kept so much things to themselves and chose not to let each other know and understand.. please, sit down and have a good face-to-face, heart-to-heart talk... i hope i've helped at least abit, if not my tuesday would really be a very unproductive one. =(

of persistence...
hmmm.. i just feel that there are some things you just got to be persistent and hold on to...

last words before i "pen" off...
okies.. it's really really late now. still have class tmr and i certainly can't skip sch again! gd night all! the remaining days of february will definitely be happier and much better! cheeries!!

p/s: once again... i love you i love you i love you dar!!! baby lovessssssssssss you!!!!!

2008-02-05T16:37:00.000+08:00

today is the eve of chinese new year's eve... supposed to be a very exciting and happy thing but i'm feeling the exact opposite of what i'm supposed to be feeling right at this moment. tried to control my tears during my lecture just now but couldn't. really tried real hard to suppress my feelings. for those who know me, i'm one who cannot suppress my own feelings. i cannot bottle up my feelings. i cannot keep everything to myself. but i've been doing all these as of late. the more i tried suppressing, the worse i felt. the more i tried to control my tears from flowing out, the worse it got. just now in the lecture theatre, it totally reminded me of what happened a year plus ago. that was worse, i'm sure. as in the crying part was worse. this time round, fortunately the lecture theatre was very much bigger and there were fewer people (cos there's webcast i suppose), i think it wasn't very obvious or noticeable to the lecturer, or to anyone else. drove back home with a very heavy heart after lecture. i just burst out.. tearing while driving. thank god i was still able to drive, but the risk of danger was of course, very much higher. lack of concentration, distraction, and faster speed. that's why i really hate driving with my heart feeling heavy, let alone a very very heavy heart. but i felt better with the adrenaline rush that baby c. could give me, that i was able to drive and at the same time with the music blasting at a very high volume without having to worry about not being able to hear the honks of other cars (should there be any). that's probably one of the perks of driving alone... that i can blast my music and throw out all the heavy emotions temporarily. the wind blowing against my face and hair did help lighten up my mood a lil'. i care less about how messy my hair gets now.. baby c. is a really great companion. my all-time good ol' companion. yesterday marked the 2nd month anniversary of me and baby c. the really pleasant surprise that daddy got baby c. for me. yup...

february is my favourite month of the year.. a month filled with love and happiness, and my special birthday month too.. but seems like it's a very tough month for me this year. hope the next three weeks get better..

goodbye. i'm very very very very tired... feel like crying again.

2008-02-05T00:24:00.001+08:00

felt like blogging just now... but not anymore.

back to square once again.

2008-01-31T00:40:00.000+08:00

*i'm typing this entry with a heart that's heavy...

school...
anyway, it's 3rd week of school! readings have been piling up and frankly speaking, i haven't really touched them. it's bad, i know. i'll get starting soon, hopefully! just had my very first tutorial, IT1003 (fyi, for nus undergrads... our tutorials start on the 3rd week of school) on monday. we formed teams of 2-3 persons, and the groups with 3 ppl (which happened to have only two) were to do the first two topics. i happened to be one of those groups and i was asked by my other two members to draw the lots since i was sitting the nearest to it. well........ i picked the very first topic! and that means we're the very first team presenting the case study! good thing is that we can get it over and done with (plus the case study's on macdonald's! haha.. i'm a macdonald's kid!) and that it's before cny (the second group will be presenting just after cny.. which is bad cos i think i will feel too lazy to get it done by then. haha) but the down side is that we don't have much time to prepare and rehearse. one of my members said, "it's good in a way cos there's no expectation set in the first place..." which is very very true. hopefully the tutor won't look back, compare us with the future groups and mark us down! haha.

as for another module GEK1523, we were given an assignment already. and we've got to work in pairs. since i'm taking this module alone, i was kinda worried that i couldn't find any partner for the assignment. but thank god! during lecture, someone sitting next to me chatted with me and asked if i wanted to work together! phewwww.....

and for PR2202, we were required to form groups of 3-4 ppl for a given project. i saw someone posted on the forum asking if anyone wanted to join she and her friend, and i responded. still waiting for them to contact me. hopefully, i will be able to join that group. *tsk tsk* that's the problem when you're taking modules alone. i sound like a super duper anti-social freak right... haha. really trying to open up and be more approachable. i'm just too shy... -shakes head- i know i can't continue to be like this if i were to venture into the banking and finance sector... hmmmm... i am trying hard, trust me. i really am.

friends, friendship...
well, i chatted with one of my friends just now via msn (shall not reveal her identity). recently, she has some relationship problems.. i did sms her and asked if she was ok. but only exchanged few smses. hence, i approached her just now and tried to find out more. i'm really really very glad that i was of some help! in fact, she told me that i've helped so much! she's finally made up her mind (and i hope she will stick to her decision.. you heard it?). i guess all she needs is a lil' more support. =) she told me she felt much better after talking to me and that she has always wanted to talk to someone badly all this while. but i rem telling her last week in the sms that if she needed someone to talk to, she could always approach me. she didn't cos she told me she didn't want me to think that she's the sort of person who will approach me only if she has problems.. don't ever think that way alright? i know everyone's busy... hence we don't have time to contact one another very often and will tend to neglect each other. i totally understand. i never did think that way... please, to all my friends (including those who are reading this now), please do not hesitate to share your ups and downs with me if you want to!! i'll be more than willing to lend you a listening ear! i'm not a good talker.. but i know i am definitely a good listener! (though not all the time) =D and you know what? i'm really glad that i took the initiative to approach her and have a good heart-to-heart talk with her. =)

also, one of my friends chatted with me via msn few days back. he read my pessimistic msn sub-nick and decided to talk to me. i'm really touched by his kind gesture. he told me even though we haven't met or chatted with each other for quite some time already, it doesn't mean that i'm forgotten. and that if anything happens, he'll be there for me. "your smile is like a medicine to my heart" --> very sweet words from a nice friend like him! my heart felt really warm upon hearing that... :*)

myself...
well i'm recovering soon.. many many thanks to all who express their concern! really really appreciate it! =) *drink more water drink more water drink more water* -preaches to myself-

alright! it's time to "pen off" again... have got lotsa things to do even though i have to wake up very early later. thursday's a very very long, busy and tiring day for princess! hang in there!!

gd night all. gd night world. gd night to myself. hopefully a sleep would be a panacea to my heavy heart...

2008-01-24T23:18:00.000+08:00

i'm ill.. down with flu and bad cough. i hate it when i cough. just feel so painful and really uncomfortable. probably going down to the doc at amk tmr. family doc's too far away and i don't really wish to drive such a long distance. thought my mum would be accompanying me to the doc but she'll be busy with work. and she asked, "you can drive there by yourself right?" sometimes, i wish i don't have a driving licence. being driven around definitely beats driving around on your own. of course, i don't deny the fact that it feels really good knowing that you're free to drive anytime, and to anywhere you want. but there are times when i really wish that i can't drive for nuts. obviously, i'm talking about times when i fall sick. in the past, my mum would drive me to the family doctor when i was down with whatever illnesses. now? i have to visit the doc all by myself. i'm already unwell now, imagine i've to go down to the clinic alone, all by myself, on my own!!! sucky feeling seriously. hmmm.. but one thing mummy brought up was quite true. she said i'm a grown-up now and i have to look after myself. -shakes head- frankly speaking... don't laugh.. i still feel like a kid, a baby. always dependent on others, always reliant on others... *sulks*

that aside.. i had my first kickboxing class today!! yeah, i still went ahead despite being ill. but i really had fun!! just the warm-up almost killed me (and maybe vin as well.. haha). that reminds me... i haven't exercised for ages!!! totally enjoyed the class! vin and i shared the same sentiments.. we both felt that kickboxing's more suitable for the two of us. slow ones like yoga and pilates.. -mmm mmm- *a big no no* for us. haha. really glad that i signed up for this class. i'm enjoying every bit of it! by the way, we thought there're gonna be no guys in the class but surprisingly, there are!! that is... two guys out of so many girls!! hahaha. kudos to the two! for having the courage to join a class overwhelmingly dominated by girls! lol.

okies.. i'm going to take a shower now. probably going to do a lil' shopping tmr if time permits. gd night all and may i recover asap!! *thanks to all those who express their concern.. your well-wishes are certainly appreciated by yours truly!!* i'll definitely recover soon knowing that there are kind souls who care for me!! =) *thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu* -big hugsss-

2008-01-23T23:14:00.000+08:00

down on luck...

recently lexus baby has been down on luck... firstly, just when all of us welcomed the arrival of a new year, he was quite badly "injured". a stupid drunkard collided onto 3 cars, one of which was dearest baby. thank god a few neighbours saw the car plate number and reported the hit-and-run accident to the police. and now... he was badly scratched by a very evil ass****. it was obviously intentional from the way that he was scratched. to that inconsiderate bast*rd with ill upbringing, you'll get your retribution.. you WILL! arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i realised ever since the arrival of another new baby, lexus baby has been quite down on luck. hmmm.. maybe i'm thinking too much. just hope that things will get better. 2008, i believe you will bring us all the luck that we need! =)

i was late for tuition today... 45mins late to be exact. it's cos of the massive jam at amk. the accident looked pretty serious and the news reported about it just now too. actually i could have avoided the congestion. i heard it over the radio that there's a massive jam along amk ave 6 but i didn't know where's that. didn't expect it to be near amk central. oh wells. heard that 12 people were injured, of which 4 were seriously injured. goshhh... hope they'll be ok. *prays*

p/s: know why the "down on luck" is brown in colour. cos brown = shit.. it means "shitty" in short, which also means, down on luck. lol.

pls come back, luck!!! good luckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk....

2008-01-22T00:10:00.001+08:00

just a lil' update... (beware: very very random blog entry)

all my modules have finally been settled!! you have no idea how relieved i am now... after a tough time regarding whether to drop developm econs (EC3371), i finally made up my mind to drop it, albeit unwillingly. cos there's this favourite lecturer of mine who taught me last semester and he remembers my name!! haha.. and i think i finally did what i've always wanted to achieve during his tutorial sessions - to speak up! and i did... (remember the incident whereby me and my girls pic was projected on the screen cos i lent my laptop to the person who was presenting? yeah! that's the tutorial!) it may not be a big deal to you guys cos speaking up in class is like an easy thing for all of you, but to me, at least it's an achievement. i'm making baby steps... slow and steady. =) trying to gain more confidence and courage. *beams* anyways, back to the module.. yeah, i withdrew from his class and took another module instead (money & banking) cos i really wanna learn more banking stuff. what's more, i have a 4-day week instead of a 5-day one now!!! *phewsss* really happy! and and and... friday's my free day!! double happiness! yay! it's been so many semesters since my friday's a free dayyyyy! =)

there's another thing that i need not worry about now... just over last week. no matter the outcome, i'll gladly accept it cos it's a great learning experience! and i suppose.. i'll nv regret it! hee. i thank god for everything that's happened to me. be it good or bad. it's really so true that every single thing happens for a reason. =D

i feel that i'm more like a undergrad now... i've signed up for kickboxing class with vin (hopefully, i will start my exercise regime very soon!!). i attended this career talk just now in the afternoon and i'm going for another one next week. i walk around school more often and spend more time in school (cos of the electives i'm taking, i have to travel from one faculty to another). it's my last semester in nus... i want to enjoy school life, want to meet up with friends more often for meals in school, want to work harder as a student... i'll cherish this final semester. =)

had dinner @ paramount hotel last thursday with my family and darling. it was for my mum's belated birthday. the food's not bad... buffet style. ate till we dropped. hahaha.

went for a haircut with the boyfriend last saturday!! oh, we dyed our hair as well! (this time different colours though) we made an appointment with auntie alice kinda last minute but thank god we managed to book it and went for our "makeover" the very next day! haha.. not much changes. except that our hair's shorter.. i dyed back the same colour. thinking of dyeing a brighter colour the next time! haha. getting bolder and bolder... *tsk tsk* might cut my fringe shorter (realise it's not short enough!) soon too.

then at night, while the boyfriend's at work, i went out for dinner with my dad, bro (mum and the other bro went genting), cousin weiming (his gf, lynnette) and his family! ate at golden mile.. the standard's dropping. food's getting much more expensive now, plus lousy service (one of the waitresses had a face so black that it looked like we owed her millions of dollars!!)... i would say "good luck and all the best" to them. to think we used to frequent there and i loved their food in the past..... but now... *shakes head* after dinner, we headed down to chinatown to experience the cny festive atmosphere!! fortunately, not as crowded as i thought it to be... the crowd will probably be much more as cny draws near...

yup, that's about it for now.. will try to update soon i hope! it's getting late now... a very good night to each and everyone! =)

2008-01-17T01:28:00.000+08:00

sch's started for me! my final semester in nus... but till now, my modules are still not confirmed yet. as in... i'm still thinking of whether i should drop one of my core modules for another one. the problem is... i don't know whether i'll be able to get that module since it's quite popular as well. and... i don't know if i'll regret dropping that module and taking the other one. *sighs* bidding of modules is troubling enough.. and now this had to happen. definitely not a good start. i'll update on my sch matters once everythn's settled. for now... let's just... pray. *shrugs*

stupid cin!!! tricked me again!! she actually called me while i was driving to school this afternoon. pretended to be some telcom operator telling me that she's from something international (name of firm..forgot what she said already. haha) and that she's here to inform me about my court order. COURT ORDER?! what a big joke man! was damn shocked to hear that. imagine i was driving and holding my handphone on loudspeaker with one hand. and plus that element of shock at that very moment. after that, she giggled and told me who she was. i could have known that it's her... just that i was driving and couldn't concentrate totally, so trying to figure out who the person on the line was not possible. what's more, the number was familiar!!! her workplace number!! gosh!!! i should have recalled! cin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *arghhhhhh* the first time she called to trick me was the day (dar's jc class gathering) when dar and i were at mel's place with his friends. i saw an unfamiliar number.. and hesitated. asked dar if i shd pick up or not. in the end, he helped me answer the call. and the conversation btw cin and dar was awkward!!! wahahaha!! cin asked for miss yvonne yeo. dar told her that my phone was not with me and that i couldn't answer at the moment. she then proceeded to ask who dar was and vice versa.. i can't really remember what happened after that. but i know it's very very awkward!!! lol! *orh-bi-good* cin is evil!!! *roar*

okies.. i'm tired. turning in now.. *yawns* three lectures w/o break tmr!! =(

2008-01-09T16:20:00.000+08:00

some updates...

happy 2008 everyone!! i'm very sorry that i haven't been blogging lately. blame it on my pure laziness. actually, i have got alot of pictures to update. but it just kinda scares me knowing that i have got way too many of them to upload to this lil' blog of mine. i'll try to do something about it, i promise. =)

this week's my very last week of sch hols. very soon, i'll be graduating next semester. combination of excitement and fear. looking forward to graduation but at the same time, not so much looking forward to it. contradicting, uh? well, looking forward to it is cos i can say goodbye to dreadful exams and fulfill my dreams and pursue my goals, but on the other hand, not so much so is cos i dread the unpredictability of the future, unfamiliarity of the new environment (afterall, i'll be dealing with adults in future and face more nasty things in life), basically, i'll be experiencing changes. more changes. i'm one who doesn't favour changes. i prefer things to stay this and that way. i yearn for a stable life. but i know that's quite impossible in life. like what ms ho told me before, changes are the only constant. and it's oh so true. (i miss ms ho!!! *cries*)

anyways, my holidays have been well-spent. at least my life's more spiced up than school days! the things that i have planned to do during this hols, i've accomplished some of them. i know i won't be able to accomplish all of them since now that hols are ending real soon, but i'll do them even when school starts. life's not just about studying. oh, and i also started giving tuition again. unlike the past, i'm only teaching one student now (the same one, russel! my fav boy!! hee). but that's good enough cos i'm giving him 9 hours of tuit per week, which is equivalent to teaching 3 students. =p i feel much 'useful' now ever since i started teaching. maybe cos i spent too much money during the hols!! way too much!! what's more, i didn't work, so... this hols have done much damage to my savings. hahaha.

dar's ended his IA and his school just started this week. as much as i don't want it to come, i know i got to face the reality. that school's started for him, and is gonna start for mine, and possibly, we'll have less time to spend together. i'm quite upset actually, but cos of what he said, i've also learnt to be more optimistic about it. it's not about whether we've more or less time to spend together, but the effort to find time for each other. =) *hugs* jiayou on year 3 semester 2 my dear! rem your own goal! you can do it. and i'll always be here for you! :)

if you have been observant enough, dar spends alot on me, and us of cos (haha!), especially on food on special occasions like our monthly anniversaries, etc. so i told him that it's alright if we don't get to eat at expensive restaurants from now onward since we're both saving up for my graduation trip. =) hopefully, we can meet our savings target. =) we actually wanted to backpack on our own to australia but have called off that plan. really requires alot of time and effort to plan and moreover, it's our first trip (to a place that's quite far from singapore). i suppose we'll learn along the way.. i do hope we'll be able to fulfill our europe backpacking trip in future!! (w/o the help of guided tour =p)

anyways, here's the recap for some of the significant events in the year 2007 (sorry, i know i'm very slow.. haa)...

-- mummy's 42nd birthday!
--daddy's 48th birthday!
-- my first motorbike ride! thankies to the one who gave me such an experience! you know who you're.. =)
-- S.H.E concert (which reminds me of the upcoming jay's concert! can the tv advertisements stop broadcasting!!! stop reminding me that i have no tix to his concert!!!)
-- when i got to know darling ray... and fell in love with him gradually. =) thanks for being such a wonderful you!! *hugs* baby welcomes you to her life with open arms!!! *beamsss*
-- my 1st hair treatment!
-- my 1st hair-dyeing experience!! and it turned out to be great~
-- my first car accident (pls let it be the last too!! *prays*)
-- my very special big 21st celebrations!! (at aranda country club with family, relatives and friends, at home with my family and my rh girls, outside with dearie [but we weren't together yet. haha])
-- attended lotsa 21st celebrations! (it's the year of tiger babies!!)
-- got my very 1st summon/fine! argghhh!
-- i've got over and done with the past, especially memories of mister, alright no more mister, let's just call him yl. sometimes, i wish i didn't accept you at all. really. at least friendship is everlasting.. but, well, i'm glad we're still friends now. and.. if we haven't got together, at least i wouldn't see so many down sides of you after the demise of our r/ship. could have had almost perfect memories of you.. but.. oh wells. thanks for everything still.
-- got to know nice friends in nus like philip, geoffrey, yan guang, and friends i made thru sea sports camp!
-- attended nus sea sports camp and had my 1st try in wakeboarding (yay!), windsurfing and canoeing!!!
-- had my very first internship at sumi! (although i didn't get to complete it) also forged wonderful friendships with sumi peeps!
-- anlene orchard mile run 2007 with my rh girls!!
-- received two bottles of ai4 xin1 herbal tea from my dearest best friend when she knew that i was ill~ =)
-- my first visit to macritchie's treetop trail!!
-- finally got to play tennis again!!! ever since jc times, i haven't touched my tennis raq!! haha.
-- applied for our sentosa islander cards..
-- had many many sumptuous meals with sweets! especially buffets... *fat* i love youuuuuuuu still no matter what!! hee.
-- darling brought me to the zoo during the dec hols! our very first zoo trip~ *yippeess*
-- darling brought me to sentosa!! my 1st time trying out luge and sky tower!
-- my first time to bottle tree park~ sweets dearest brought me there too!
-- my first time to dempsey~ i brought dar there..
--daddy dearest bought me my very 1st car w/o me knowing abt it beforehand at all!! moreover, it's one of my fav cars!! *hugsss daddy* it's a really really pleasant surprise!! daddy's the best father in this whole world!!! thankies daddy dearest, for doting on me alot, pampering me so much and giving me everything that i want!! i couldn't ask for more, really. =D
-- first overseas trip with dar and close friends i made in nus (more specifically, my hall friends)..albeit to genting only. =p and of cos, my 1st time stepping into the casino! hee.
-- december 2007 - the least number of blog entries ever! lol.

... and more i'm sure! just that i can't really recall all of them. but it's not too bad that i could recall the above-mentioned, since i've got short-term memory. (err, well, actually i kinda 'cheated'.. cos i read my past blog entries for the year 2007 to 'guide' me along. lol) haha. well, 2007 has been a year of ups and downs.. i can't say whether i have more experiences of ups or downs. all i know is.. there's a fair share of ups and downs. what's more important is what i've gained and learnt. these experiences allow me to reflect more upon myself, to be more mature and also to cherish each and everything i have! to all my loved ones, thanks for being with me and staying by my side for the past year. kinship, relationship, friendships... they're all important to me. and i cherish each and every single one of you. from the bottom of my heart, thank you. really. =)

and as for resolutions for this brand new year of 2008... i haven't really found the time to think through them. but here are some of them:

-- to spend more time with my loved ones - my family, moomoo, friends, mickey, bobby and yang yang (my lovely doggiesss!!).
-- to be more disciplined - study harder, exercise on a more routined basis (jogging, skipping, rollerblading). i must strike off that last wish on the wishlist!! haha.
-- play more sports - wakeboard, tennis, badminton, etc.
-- learn to be more optimistic, confident and to speak up more in frt of strangers/new friends.
-- read more.
-- learn to be more patient.
-- to keep a good posture and not keep slouching!! pls remind me if you see me do that, friends!!
-- learn to take good care of my skin (stop being so lazy, von!!).

that's about it for now... will add on if i can think of more. but currently, 8 resolutions seem pretty fine. =)

2008 will be a better year ahead!!! cheersssss!

2007-12-20T02:28:00.001+08:00

hello everyone!!! sorry for the lack of updates! many things have happened over the past few weeks, in particular, my dad. he's gotten into an accident and was hospitalised. when mummy called to inform me about it, i was really really very scared. she didn't know what had happened too cos at that point of time, she was on her way to the hospital. i quickly drove over to pick my brother up from his school and off we went to changi general hospital. when we reached, we walked over to the emergency unit. we were stopped by this person (sorta guarding the main entrance) and told him we wanted to see our daddy. and he told us to proceed to the resuscitation room. at that moment, my heart really dropped. i nearly broke down but i didn't have the time to think that much. we immediately walked to the resuscitation room. before we got to see daddy, my brother saw my mum sitting near the counter and we went over to her. thank god daddy's fine!!!!! fine as in he didn't "leave" us.. but he's got injuries on his face, forehead, hands and legs, which were rather serious. what happened was... my dad was on his way back to his office after visiting our family doctor. that area's often congested, so my dad decided to ride his motorbike. on his way back, this van changed lane all of a sudden (without checking the bloody blindspot!!!) and knocked my dad down. that malay guy tried to drive off but thank god one kind man shouted at him and told him to stop. what's more infuriating was that guy accused my dad of speeding. under that traffic condition, it was impossible to speed. that guy was totally irresponsible!!! i don't know what happen to that guy, forgot to ask daddy. but hope he gets his retribution!! most importantly, daddy's fine now. i really can't do without him. i've been trying to get him not to ride the bike but he says it's out of convenience and riding will save him alot of time in times of traffic congestion. sighsss. really don't know how to persuade him. now that i have a car of my own (yes, daddy dearest bought me my fav car in the midst of exams!!! it was a really pleasant surprise!! will update on that soon i hope!), he's able to drive lexus baby. even w/o lexus baby, there's still fiat for him to drive. just don't understand why he still insists on riding the bike when all of us know that it's really really dangerous. i fear more now that he's met an accident. likelihood of getting into an accident is still high whether you're speeding or not. i just wish i can burn down or get rid of that stupid bike. arghhh. ok.. i'm just glad that he's alright now. thanks paul who wanted to go visit my dad with me last tues but she didn't get to go cos he requested to be discharged on that day. but i really do appreciate her kind gesture. =) anyways, had a daddy and daughter bonding session again just now!! we chatted for an hour plus.. he told me lots of things. what touched me most was he told me he's most happy to buy things for us, and he rather spends his hard-earned money on us than on himself. he's always a very generous father.. not just a generous father, but a very generous person. he always tells me to be a giving, generous & humble person. i guess he's very much like my late grandfather, who's never stingy in any way and always willing to give. grandpa & grandma meant the whole world to daddy. i could feel how much he misses them when he was sharing about his childhood days with me. daddy's a really really good father! he treats me like his lil' princess, never fails to give me everything i want. he's never selfish and even sacrifices for us. i'm really thankful for having him.. just now at 12plus am, dad wanted to go to the nearby 7-11 to get his cough syrup (he's been coughing alot.. but thank god he's getting better now) and he asked if i wanted to go with him. and of course i did. i've always wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. so we strolled down together.. at times he'd put his hand on my shoulder, at times we'd hold hands.. just realise we haven't done that for ages. the moment we held hands.. i feel really close to him. when i was young, i didn't really feel that way. took that for granted i guess. or maybe cos i was too young to think that much. but anyways, i really treasure the times we get together and have a heart-to-heart talk. i always learn alot from daddy dearest. i'm just so fortunate to have daddy by my side. daddy, i love you. *hugs*

anyways....... attended my fav cousin's wedding two sundays back (9 dec 2007)!! it was held at swissotel. really lived up to its name. the ballroom was really nicely decorated and big! they cleverly made use of the lightings.. and the whole place turned really colourful with all the different coloured lights! they even hired a live band there. really awesome. the food's quite good as well! i was really really happy to see my cousin. she looked really gorgeous that night. anyways, before the wedding dinner, darling, cousin weiming, his girlfriend (lynette) and i went to witness her solemnization (also held at swissotel). she told me it's more convenient to hold the wedding dinner and solemnization on the same day, which i think it's really true. watching her recite the vow, with daryl korkor sitting next to her, made my eyes watery. it was a really touching scene. afterall, she's someone whom i spent much of my childhood days with, and she really took good care of me when i was young. she's someone whom i can confide in, and i'm glad she shares many things with me, including the bad times (though it's not as frequent now that she's busy with her career and i'm busy with studies). she's been my role model ever since i was a small little girl. in the past, i was influenced to like wang jie (chinese singer if you don't know) just because she was crazy over him. then i loved purple colour just because it was her favourite colour. haha.. even now, it was her who inspired me to aspire to get into the banking sector. really a pity i couldn't get to study accountancy at ntu. just have myself to blame for not studying harder for A's. but well.. it's been a few years already and i'm looking forward to the future! although i am unsure of what lies ahead for me, i wanna be optimistic.. i want to be like my cousin. =) yup yup, so you can see how big an influence and important role she plays in my life. okies.. i shall let the pictures and video do the talking!

solemnization! =) *sweets*
romance @ swissotel~
great lightings~

i love my cousin's gorgeous red night gown!!
me & lynette! =)
dar & baby..
my brothers! =)
my relatives and cousins! still have many more but didn't have time to take pics with all of them.
my family!!
the hunks.. lol.
love the shot me & daddy dearest took together! =)))
dar, me, lynette, weiming..
us. *beams*
us, the bride and groom! (saw the lovely paper bag dar's holding? we got them a wedding gift.. and a hefty one. haha. hope they like it. plus a wedding card for them. and i wrote ahmeijiejie a letter as well! hee)
me, ahmeijiejie, daryl korkor, dar! =D
group pic! some of the cousins~

love this shot! pity it was blurry.. sighsssss.

i've uploaded the video clips and here are the urls if you wanna watch... =)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xpzAIjgoUQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5QarZHxQjo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaLS0aW8BeA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=US2TTMSoeBA

pity i couldn't upload one video clip which shows the pictures of their childhood and dating days cos the file exceeded 100mb. grrrrrrrrrrr.. i love the last video clip by the way.. one of the scenes whereby my cousin and her jie meis were holding the bras proudly. hahaha. so funny la. and you know what?! my cousin has 14 jie meis!!! gosh!! so many~ poor daryl korkor and gang.. they had to do things like smell the bra, wear paper panties (when they were dressed so nicely! lol), wear bras, etc. very very creative!! hahaha.. next time i must come up with more "creative" ideas with my jie meis when it's my turn. *evil laughter* ahhhh.. and a pity my memory card ran out of space, that's why the last video kinda ended abruptly! grrr.. anyways, ahmeijiejie's jie meis and daryl korkor's xiong dis are all very very enthusiastic!! not only the video clip tells it all, but during the wedding dinner itself, they were quite rowdy! heee... it's really good man! liven up the atmosphere!! i bet it must have been a really enjoyable experience!! =)

yups... i really am very glad to see my cousin entering a new phase of life. most importantly, that she has someone who loves her very much, treasures her like a precious gem, and dotes on her alot. i can tell that daryl korkor is a really good man (coincidentally, daryl korkor is my grandpa's neighbour!! that means i met him before, just that i was very young then. haha). he's also a SNAG, according to my cousin! yeah, really can tell that he's one. wishing the both of them a blissful & everlasting marriage! =)

2007-12-04T00:26:00.001+08:00

arghhh haven't been studying ever since i got back home at 7plus in the evening! had my 2nd paper.. not expecting much anyways. greater hope = greater disappointment.. so yup... hmmm.. mickey and bobby seem to be ill.. there's something growing on mickey's body. he had it when he was young but the thing seems to be growing bigger and bigger and now.. it's really quite big. looks pretty serious to me. i do hope it's not a tumour or something. sighssssss. bobby... equally bad. he slimmed down alot. really alot. he's so light that i can carry him w/o difficulty, unlike in the past when i had to use both hands to carry him. he doesn't have a tummy!! totally lost weight! sighssss. wonder what's wrong.. i will be bringing them down to the vet on thursday, after my paper. hopefully they'll be fine.. sighs.

anyways, went to thomson plaza with my brother to get some dog food and snacks. had dinner there too, then brendan saw starbucks and told me abt it. i didn't believe it at first cos the starbucks on the second level has closed down for quite some time already. when i looked ahead... it really was starbucks!! and it's an alfresco one! gosh... my brother suggested going there to chill out for a while and i agreed. in the end we sat there till 10pm! dexter came to join us soon after. really felt very good and refreshed there.. weather's great (very cooling!), ambience's great too! i told my brothers that i didn't feel like i was in singapore. just felt like i was in the states or in australia. feels absolutely good!! just realised that i haven't been to starbucks for ages man! finally got to drink my caramel fraup.

yup yup.. that was how my few hours flew by. just like that. i'll be having yet another paper at 5pm later. sighsssss... marx, weber, durkheim (they're the founding fathers of sociology if you don't find these names familiar)... *screams and pulls hair* i'm gonna conquer you guys tonight!!!

gotta go mug.. been slacking for too long!

2007-12-02T02:09:00.000+08:00

seems like almost everyone's left with one or two more papers. aiyosssss. what abt me? i'm stuck with 4 papers still!! *roarrrrrrrrr* i dread the upcoming two papers on monday and tuesday - my two sociology level 3 core modules. arghhhhh. am particularly scared of the paper on tuesday.. told moomoo (yes, his new nickname.. haha) that i feel like giving up but i know i can't.. and i won't. it's not the first time i'm feeling this way. in fact, i could recall during my 1st year 1st sem (yes! how ke lian is that! it was just the start of my uni life *cries*) i was on the verge of giving up on this econs module (was forced to take this level 2 econometrics module cos i couldn't bid for other level 1 modules. moreover it was my most dreaded stats!! sighssss), or in fact had already given up but i still went ahead to sit for the final exam. so this time round, it should stay the same. i will not give up and i will never give in. i know it's a very tough module, but i must endure and make it thru! (afterall it's a compulsory module for soci major.. shucksss..)

good news! at least it spurs me to study harder (ok, i admit i still slack alot by getting distracted in facebook, friendster, blog-hopping, email-checking, etc).. haha.. moomoo told me last night that he's taken a day off to accompany me on this coming monday (my 2nd paper..yes only the 2nd one..). that means he'll keep me company till afternoon, after which he'll be accompanying me to school! so sweet... i was absolutely taken aback when he told me about it cos before that... i actually jokingly said that he's bad to me. haha i guess my words triggered moomoo to tell me that. i think he meant to keep it as a surprise or somethn. but it's ok! at least he told me earlier.. which meant that i'd beam for a few more days than if he'd told me on monday itself. hahaha.

--- confession time --- moomoo.. though i always say you're bad, bad, bad... you do know i'm not serious right? i hope you do! *look up to the sky, both hands clasp tightly together and pray* moomoo!! thank you so much.. it meant alot. ALOT. -big hugsss-

and yup.. as expected.. we didn't get to celebrate our 9th mth yesterday. why can't exams end earlier like ntu!! nus is always so lagged... i think my friends in ntu are already enjoying their hols and playing very hard now! *envious* sweet sweet moomoo told me to hang on for a lil' longer.. that he'll make it up after my exams and that we're gonna enjoy ourselves after the horrible exams. =)))

what more can i say? *dreaming away* .............*slaps myself* -back to reality- ok, i shouldn't sound like i'm done with my papers and am having hols now. really like holiday mood already. lol.

back to tonnes of notes and readings...

2007-11-30T17:18:00.000+08:00

just caught 'a walk to remember' again... came across this very good webby and i thought i might share with you guys. http://movie6.net/?p=407 --> this is the url for 'a walk to remember' movie. there are lots more other shows still.. think i'm gonna get 'a walk to remember' dvd/vcd soon.. =)

many scenes in the show made me tear alot just now. landon's done so much for jamie... i don't know why... but this is the only show that can really move me deeply, despite watching it over and over again. maybe in a way, their love story's quite similar to ours. like how much i changed for the better (like landon carter), and of course, he changed alot for me and did so much more for me too... and how he kept his religion from me for fear of me feeling weird (like how jamie sullivan kept her illness from landon, not wanting him to feel weird).

it's miraculous how love can change someone so much. i was changed. in fact very different from how i was like back then. i've learnt to be a better person. alot better, really. just want to thank him for everything. if i haven't met him, i wouldn't have seen sucha great transformation in myself. if we haven't caught this movie together, maybe things would be different... but still, i'm glad we did cos this show nv fails to inspire me. when you really really love someone, you'd gladly do just anything and everything for that person. you'd be more than willing to change for the better... not only for yourself but most importantly, for the one you truly love.

whenever ray and i have disputes... i always think of the quote (from bible) below... it just gives me strength, hope and faith.. and it serves as a reminder that if we carry on quarreling, the distance between our hearts will draw further and further...

Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offence and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.

yup.. try to find some inspiring quotes perhaps? it really helps me alot..

Love is like the wind.. you can't see it, but you can feel it.

"I'll always remember
It was late afternoon
It lasted forever
And ended so soon
You were all by yourself
Staring up at the dark gray sky
I was changed..."

oh no... feeling emo right now!

2007-11-24T19:02:00.000+08:00

just came back from a date with dar... we went to catch "enchanted"! love the "happily ever after" ending. if only it was true in real life. does it really happen? anyways, went to 'stock up' some snack supply again. my meiji chocolates~~~ hahaaaa.. thanks darling!! *hugs* despite his busy working schedule, he still made time for us. and i'm really grateful and appreciative for that. really. haven't seen him for this week until yesterday. like finally... i'm so glad that he told me he'd accompany me as much as possible during this difficult period. it feels as if he can read my mind.. the feeling is inexplicably good! i'm really blessed to have him so supportive of me, and for doting on me. truly blessed, dar.

it suddenly strike me... i used to be quite optimistic, or rather tried to be optimistic for a certain period of time (can't rem when..) but now, seems like it's back to square one. i think i shd be more optimistic and live my life more happily, more worry-free, without having to think too much. i ought to be less contemplative, inquisitive and retrospective. i guess many of my worries are attributed to my mind, which 'enjoys wandering here and there'.. so from now on, i wanna be more positive about life, about things around me, about everything! life is great with your loved ones around! =)

p/s: hopefully you will read fewer of depressing blog entries from now onwards... :)

2007-11-23T05:27:00.000+08:00

晚安.. 晚安.. 我要试着去睡了!

好漫长的一晚呀...

2007-11-23T04:12:00.000+08:00

insomnia. can't get to sleep. not sleeping. can't sleep. not tired. not yawning at all. not thinking, or rather thinking too much. mind's in a whirl. procrastinating. distracted. stress. head spinning/headache. too many things in my mind. sleepless night.

everything mentioned above = total randomness plus incoherence at an unearthly hour.

2007-11-23T01:06:00.000+08:00

been having bad dreams lately... think been having bad dreams for the past 4-5 days.. really very scary. sighssssss. can the bad dreams just go away? several dreams were really really bad and scary. really. just leave me alone alrite?

really don't like this period. exam period. exam period = pimple outbreak, lethargic and tired easily hence slp ALOT, eat more (including snacks and chocolates.. there goes my diet plan!), recurring nightmares, bodyache... arghhh. just hate it.

off now. just wanna vent out my frustration.

2007-11-21T20:18:00.000+08:00

i have received a letter from hong kong!!! *excited* bf..... u heard me? i HAVE received it!! yups... it did arrive before my first paper, so... no worries. thank you so muchhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! *hugs* thanks for everything... for your utmost support and nv-ending encouragement. i'm truly blessed.. =)

2007-11-19T21:38:00.000+08:00

i wonder how everyone is now... especially those who're in the same boat as me - having exams. hope you guys are doing and coping well. as for me, my progress is as usual, very very slow (because yours truly is easily distracted and can't really get rid of the bad habit of procrastinating). hmmm... anyways, attended salad's 21st last saturday. really haven't gone out with her for sooooo long! still rem we used to hang out together often. guess ever since we stopped dance class, we rarely see each other. salad, we must get the "momentum" back! hmm.. so many things have happened as of late, yet being one of her closest friends, i failed to be there for her. promise to catch up with her after exams! =) jiayou alright girl... hope days ahead will be better for you! *hugs* anyways, met up with angeline and cindy before going over to salad's house. as usual, angeline's damn funny. never fails to make me laugh so hard. it's really very very stress-relieving, i swear! thanks captain!! =) and cindy and i went back together by train.. chatted quite alot on our way back~ this girl is attached!! and for a year plus already! gosh... kept from all of us for so long! hmm.. that really reminds me that it's been sucha long time since the tennis team got together! 3 of us were reminiscing about the good ol' days! our tennis camps, trainings and get-together moments! gosh... time really flies! *nostalgic* i really really miss those special days! hopefully, nove and yas can come back to s'pore very soon!! then we can have a tennis gathering!!! miss all of you so much!!!

lotsa pics to be uploaded after exams!! be patient~~~ =)))))

okies... not much time for revision... just 9 more days to my very first paper! all the best to all those having exams! jiayou alright. don't give uppppppppppppppppp!

-gives kit kat to all-

2007-11-16T22:40:00.000+08:00

突然发现原来自己并不是一个人。曾经迷失过、曾经陷入低潮期、曾经彷徨过。就在这时，原来有一个人在同一个时期也和我一样……大家在彼此的面前都没说、大家都似乎在掩饰自己的无助，装成一副若无其事的样子，直到今天才发现原来大家都是同道中人……咳~ 可笑！有时觉得缘分在开我们的玩笑。曾经因为偶然而相遇……因为你在我的纸上写下了名字……因为你的名字不知为何而留在我脑海里……也不知道原来我们这么谈得来，默契十足。缘分，真叫人难以理解。

你还记得自己是什么时候、在什么情况下认识某一位朋友的吗？你们的友谊又是怎么开始的？

我记得。

我们的友谊是在上学的第一天，你偷看了我的出生证，发现我们的生日是那么的靠近，就在那时，我们的友谊早已在萌芽……

我们的友谊是在课室外，因一场幼稚的“石头剪刀布”儿戏才开始的……结果你输了，而我虽然算赢了那局，但又似乎在友情路上输给了自己……

我们的友谊是在我生日那天，你突然抛了一包M&M糖果在我桌上，我惊讶，没想到那小小的举动会让我感动至今，更惊讶我们的友谊可以如此延续……

我们的友谊也是在课室外开始的，那时并不跟你很熟，只是远远望过你，和你交谈几次罢了，没想到你如今却成为我生命里的一份子……

或许我们都无法清楚地记得每一段友谊的源头……但是，每一段友谊却是那么的可贵。或许有些朋友已经失去联络了，但这些回忆都一直陪伴着我。

朋友，我好珍惜你。

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

非常感动！从来没那么感动过。。 what can i say...? i'm really contented for all the wonderful people and things i have! life can never be better... i just feel so blessed.

to that wonderful and special person... thanks for everything!!! *beams*

2007-11-16T00:30:00.000+08:00

yesssssssssssssssss!! i just found the faster version!! please do me a BIG favour by sending this song to me if you have it!!! it's a lil' 'noisy' though... ermmmm.. the one version i really want the most is acoustic version but faster than eva cassidy's.

--editted--

found several versions!! gosh.. so many ppl sang this song.

please let me find the version i want the most! =(

2007-11-16T00:12:00.000+08:00

Time After Time

Lying in my bed I hear the clock ticks and think of you

Caught up in circles, confusion is nothing new
Flash back warm night, almost left behind
Suitcase of memories
Time after sometime you pictured me
I'm walking too far ahead
You're callin' to me
I can't hear what you've said
You said: "Go slow, I fall behind"
The second hand unwinds

If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you, i'll be waiting
Time after time

I turn, my picture fades
And darkness has turned to grey
Watching through windows
You're wondering if I'm OK
Secrets stolen from deep inside
The drum beats out of time

If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you, i'll be waiting
Time after time

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a really really nice song! think the original singer's cyndi lauper. my version's sung by eva cassidy. prefer the latter's version.
anyways, if anyone has this song, mind sending me?? really love the song alot! if only i could play the guitar and sing at the same
time! recently, my ex guitar instructor smsed me, told me he's currently at the amk hub's cristofori and hoped that i would pick up
guitar again. ahhhh.. miss those times when i went to funan's cristofori for guitar lessons. i miss my violin class too!! still rem
i had two violin classes per week in the past - one's in school, the other one's at parkway parade. kiasu right. lol.. just wanna learn
more and faster i suppose. hmm..anyways, i'm thinking of learning piano now...

if anyone found the faster version of 'time after time', please do tell me!!

2007-11-13T23:57:00.000+08:00

when's the last time you had a real good laugh...

when's the last time you looked into e sky n smiled...

when's the last time you looked at your mum and noticed the few more wrinkles she had...

when's the last time you gave someone a real warm hug...

when's the last time you cooked for someone you loved...

when's the last time you gave yourself a little pat on your back...

when's the last time you looked into the mirror and liked what you saw...

when's the last time you liked yourself for who you are...

i rem losing myself in the eyes of a child..

i wanna see what they see..

feel what they feel..

the innocence we have lost..

the world we sometimes forgot..

love yourself for who you are..

and never forget the simple happiness we all have in us..

the first bite of ice cream..

the burst of rainbow in the sky..

the first kiss we had...

the one hug we miss...

we shd be happy... always!

-- got the above meaningful words from felicia chin's blog! really love it lots. we should always treasure what we have and not regret when we lose it. so... cherish all that you have everyone! =)

p/s: could have gotten this chance to see felicia chin and dasmond koh in person cos i was picked to be the food taster for the upcoming new variety food show but i backed out in the end. =(