Monday, January 03, 2011

In Loving Memory of My Mickey Darling Dearest... 3rd Jan 2011.

i was just following up on my idol, S.H.E's Selina's unfortunate news on youtube and other websites. she had suffered 3rd-degree burn on 40% of her body. imagine that intense, unbearable pain that she was going through when it happened - the very thought of it makes me cringe. especially so when something unfortunate had happened to me too during march this year. 3rd degree burns are very serious and painful, and will result in scarring. her injuries are so serious to the extent that she would require skin graft. i really feel for her. yes, consolation would be that with the medical advancement (ie. plastic surgical procedures), she'd gradually be fine. however it will definitely take quite a while. the emotional trauma, the sleepless nights when you were weeping away, you just cannot imagine how you are going to live your life the way it was before. still remember darling kept me company throughout those nights for the two weeks, it did help to ease the pain that i was going through then. but when he was asleep, i would still be awake, crying all to myself. and even when i managed to sleep, i would wake up in the middle of the night and weep again, then slept and woke up early in the morning only to find my tears flowing down my cheeks yet again. those nights were unbearable, with the emotional struggle that i was trying to fight against and the nightmares that i was experiencing on a daily basis. that was one of my darkest periods, i felt really vulnerable. i didn't want to see anyone or anyone to see me. not even darling. i am thankful for many who cared but that period was a really lonely battle because no one could truly understand what i was going through. i am sure likewise for Selina. yes, there are so many who care but she still has to go through all these on her own.

it's been 7 months since it's happened, and the scarring still exists. i would still cry myself to sleep occassionally, tear when i look at myself in the mirror. the emotional trauma will stay with me for a long time to come. i would silently pray for my scars and emotional trauma to go away... and my idol, Selina, i'll keep you in my prayers. be strong. be really strong.

"Stand" -- Rascal Flatts

You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright, you'll be alright
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand, Then you stand
Life's like a novelWith the end ripped out
The edge of a canyonWith only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend till you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand, then you stand
Everytime you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place
Oh

如果超人会飞
那就让我在空中停一停歇
再次俯瞰这个世界
会让我觉得好一些

拯救地球好累
虽然有些疲惫但我还是会
不要问我哭过了没
因为超人不能有眼泪

.. i'll hang in there. i'll reach the destination eventually.

heard this song by miley cyrus on board the plane (which reminds me of the europe trip! i miss europe!!!) when i was watching the movie "hannah montana" and i fell in love with this song ever since. i suppose i can really feel this song very strongly given what has happened to me as of late. i still remembered how i felt during the first week when it happened. i would cry myself to sleep and the moment i woke up the next day, i could feel the tears on my cheeks (thank god for sweets who's kept me company almost daily). even right now when i'm thinking back, i can't help feeling upset. guess no one really understands how i feel. but i do feel better knowing so many who care for me. i'll be strong and positive. yes, you heard me. or rather, you read me.

The Climb by Miley Cyrus

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"
Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking
But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb
The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going
And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on
'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

transition stage currently... so far so good! but i've got to admit that the learning curve in my current company is pretty steep. and i've got to learn fast, adapt fast, absolutely no time to waste, no time for that least bit of unproductiveness. anyway, the people here are all pretty friendly and fun-loving, much to my delight. i foresee that i'll have lesser time for my personal stuff in the near future and that my mind will be full of numbers, targets, numbers, targets. yes, the stress is building up day by day, but i'll bear in mind that it's a positive form of motivation. stress keeps one going, and when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. nonetheless, i'll give it my best shot!!

i know i've been procrastinating for the longest time! i have not blogged about the recent dec'09 hongkong/macau trip (okay, maybe not that recent afterall haha), the jan'10 bkk trip and the feb'10 europe trip. gosh. i've got tonnes of photos waiting for me to save them into my external hard disk (which was my 2010 bday gift from my dearest rh girls! THANK YOU GIRLS!! LOVE LOVE). need to spend alot of time to sort them out (way back from year 2003 to 2010!). gosh, i really don't know how to arrange and re-arrange 7 long years of pics and video clips. i'll try my best. notice my current motto in life is: DO MY BEST, GIVE IT MY BEST SHOT. yeah. that's the spirit. that's the attitude. that's the drive & motivation. fighting fighting!!!

sidetrack a lil'. went to sentosa with my girls abt two weeks back. pity that one of the attractions was closed for private function, but we had fun still! thank you for the belated bday celebration girls! the cake was delicious and awesome! :) hmm.. and also heard from ping that she actually saw jos recently. think cin had seen him too. and so, he's back to civilian life now. of which i'm glad. he's still very much involved in his religion matters, and i suppose he's really found his purpose and goal in life. i'm really happy for him. hmmm. was just wondering what if i ever see him on the street one fine day? how will i react? how will he react? well well, doesn't really matter now, does it? he came and he left. it's history. i've put the past behind me. so... ping, if you're reading this, i just want to tell you that you can do it simply cos' i did it. yes, it'll be very very painful to see the one whom you've loved so much walking away, but trust me, time is the panacea. it'll heal you and nurse your broken heart eventually. focus on your last term and go get an awesome high-paying job! i'm expecting a treat from you when you get your first pay! :) all of us rh girls love you ping!! i love you the most!!! -hugs-

happy chinese new year to all of you!!!

it's less than 24 hrs to my europe trip!!! i am very excited and definitely looking forward to the trip very much!! i must say that i am quite fortunate as i have been travelling for the past two months - hong kong and macau during dec 2009 and bkk during jan 2010. and i'm travelling to europe later!! woohoo!!! but travelling for 3 consecutive months also means that I AM REALLY VERY BROKE! gosh. my savings.. :( but then again.. it doesn't make sense if you don't spend the money that you earn, moreover the money is well-spent cos i love travelling and it's brought me much happiness and joy. =) i hope that after the trip to europe, i will come back fully recharged and 101% ready for my career!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!

today's also valentine's day! dar and i will not go on our usual romantic date for v day later because of cny. but but but.. i received a really nice bouquet of flowers from dearie.. 24 pink roses to be exact. :D i know some girls and most guys will think that it's such a waste to buy flowers cos they will wither away eventually but i think otherwise. i feel it's ok to buy flowers occasionally. trust me, even girls who say that buying flowers aren't necessary will still feel good and happy when they receive them. so.. darling, thank you so much! you are a really very sweet and understanding boyfriend. my bestest boyfriend in the world!!! though i always say that i love cristiano ronaldo and wu zun, you should know that i love you the most!!! haha.. you are my number one silly boy!! :) *hugs* happy valentine's day to you! fortunately, i can spend v day with darling ray because i will only be flying around 1 plus am. but the unfortunate part is that i will not be able to spend my birthday with sweets on my actual birthday as i will be in switzerland that day. :( rh girls too!!! usually they'll celebrate my bday for me but it seems that it'll be a belated event this year? haha. one of my to-buy items is seagate portable external drive 500GB/1TB. *BIG HINT* lol. so girls, think no further! hahaha.

alright, time to head off to bed. happy valentine's day everyone!!! and happy birthday to me in advance!! haha.

p/s: i miss yang yang. :( happy cny and happy v day to you my dearie..

our beloved yang yang left us today, on 2nd feb 2010, at 5.30am.

goodbye. forever. we'll miss you very much. and god will bless you yang yang.

been at the vet for over 2 hours plus just now. yang yang's fallen sick when i was in bkk. and i could only take her to the vet today as i've just returned on sat midnight. this time round, she's seriously ill. the vet told me she might not make it. it's only a matter of time and she might pass on the next few days. i couldn't control my tears. i know i heard this last year when i brought mickey to the vet (a different vet and clinic) but fortunately and miraculously (thank god!), mickey's still here with me now. but he's been coughing his lungs out for the past year and every cough just pains me. i know it's a matter of time that he'll leave me. and frankly, i'm apprehensive. i really am. and now, yang yang's case is really really bad. vet even gave me the option of euthanasia. yes, that's how pessimistic it is. another option is blood transfusion (need another dog donor to do so), even which yang goes through, she might not make it and it's a very expensive procedure. next option's to let her be hospitalised, but she told me it's not optimistic either as she might leave us the next few days even under proper medical care. i didn't know what to do. i called mummy and i found myself unable to speak properly cos i kept crying and crying away. she asked me to bring yang back home.. she looks really weak and vulnerable. my maid and i were feeding yang some antibiotics and other medication when mum and dad came home. they sat on the floor, sayang-ing her. upon seeing that, i cried again. and even now, i just can't bring myself to be strong. i told them i don't want to have new dogs anymore. and i ask them to give away our 4th doggie, wang wang (belongs to my dad's friend previously). i know i'm going to be depressed for 3 times, and with wang wang, it will be 4 times. i don't know.. all i care for now is that yang will really get better even if the vet thinks that things aren't looking good.

god, i just want to tell you that it happened all too fast. please don't let yang go just yet. i'm not prepared... i'm really praying that you'll let her get better and not suffer. please.

hello all!!!!!!!

alot of things have happened since my last entry.. well it's been almost one month into the new year. i hope 2010's been well for all of you my dear friends!

i just tendered my resignation letter today. it's been a very tough decision for me over the past few weeks. afterall, i've got a very positive and good appraisal from my boss (that means higher bonus!) and i'm doing relatively well there, in terms of work performance, good ties with colleagues and bosses etc. so i made this very hard decision to move on and forgo my performance + company bonus. many friends have asked me to leave, telling me that those money can be earned back (not even one had asked me to stay!). i've more or less accepted that fact and i will not look back anymore. i will work harder, earn much more for a better future! i am so glad that i'm not the only one embarking on this new journey. darling will also be embarking on a new journey too! and i feel so happy for him because of the great job prospect! i'm really proud of you my baby boy. it wasn't easy to get it at all and you got it!!! :) i foresee that we'll be very busy once we embark on our new journey and that we'll have lesser time for each other. but i have absolute faith that our strong relationship will overcome anything and everything! sweets, let's jiayou together!!! :D *hugs*

we'll also be travelling to bkk once again!!! i can't believe we're going back there in less than 1 year! our last bkk trip was during may 2009! well it's quite a last-minute decision to travel and we thought it'd be good to travel because for the next 1 year at least, we'll not have much time to travel together. so off we go to bkk this coming wednesday!!

oh, and i will most probably be heading to london with my parents and relatives during the cny festive period. not yet confirmed but most likely will be travelling there. yipppeess!! i wish we have more time to travel to other parts of europe if this trip materialises! till then!! :)

2010 is and will be a very good year!! :)

been quite a while since i last blogged.

back from hong kong. and seriously, i still miss our trip very very very much. the great company, awesome food, nice cold weather, fantastic experiences (disney, the peak, mini bus ride, electric bus ride, shopping malls and streets) and so much more. are there no reasons not to miss this wonderful trip? it's back to reality for now. but the 5 days were well-spent and i feel totally recharged. my current motivation level's upped many times.

will blog about the hk trip if i have the time. but pics up in facebook already! can go take a look. :) we took many pics for the hk/macau trip! think plus esther's, we had a total of 700plus? ok, maybe not many to some of you cos i know of ppl who take like thousands of pics for their short trips.

it's just two more days to the last day of 2009. new year, new start, new resolutions. i have been thinking about my new yr resolutions. probably will blog about it when it's done.

darling, if you are reading this, i just want to thank you for coming over to have a good talk with me just now. i know you've put in alot of love and effort in me and in this relationship and i really appreciate it very much.

sighs. nowadays when i'm feeling down, i can't get to sleep. i realise going for spinning and bodycombat classes will make me feel better. new avenues of venting out my frustration.

may 2010 be a better year ahead!!

gosh it's 1.40am now! so late already.. so scared i will oversleep tmr morning.

been spinning for almost 2 months already (though a few weeks were not consistent) and so far, i'm enjoying it very much. i'm really glad that i tried and started loving it. thanks to my colleague who intro-ed me. :) anyways, will continue to spin as much as i can but cos of that, i hurt my elbow and wrist as well. probably over-exerted. oh wells, i'm wearing elbow and wrist guards nowadays. hopefully they would help lessen the burden on my poor elbow and wrist.

it's about 2 more days to flying off!!! i've packed about 80% of my luggage. i'm so so so excited! 2nd trip of the year.. but pity darling isn't travelling with us (remember your promise that you would bring me overseas next yr darling!) this time round. i've done quite a lot of researh already and a rough itinerary has been planned out, so i hope everything will go smoothly! :) most importantly is to have fun and be happy! guys, let's rock this trip!! our first overseas trip together! *yipppeeeeeeee!

okie. i'd better be heading off to bed now lest i overslp tmr! gd night everyone! :D

went for spinning class earlier on. yes yes yes!!! i am quite determined to exercise more regularly now. probably cos of my interest in spinning class. it's a great one-hour workout, with minimal rest. fats fats, please go away soon!

i'm gyming again tomorrow! woooo hooooooo~ say cheers to healthy lifestyle! (hope the fire in me won't die down haha) in addition, i'm telling myself to sleep before 12am everyday (except for the weekends). healthy healthy healthy!

i've also told darling about my short-term plan/goals (the next 3 - 5 years). thanks for your advice and suggestions my love! i'll try my very best and be the best that i can be! :D

my life is gradually making some sense now... more meaningful too.

gd night all!

alright! finally done with a new blogskin! i love the pink layout of the previous blogskin but unfortunately, the owner's blogskin's inactive, hence i had no choice but to abandon it. since i've finally changed the blogskin, i shall not blog-shift anymore then.

yawns. spent hours doing this. tiring. i'm off now!! :)

went shopping alone earlier on, after a tiff with him. and i guess you all know the outcome - a hole in the pocket. haha. splurged close to 300 buckeroos just now, on esprit clothes, charles & keith heels and a pair of levi's jeans. damn. but well, at least i felt happier after that. i realise that there're more sales assistants who are filipinos. and i like their customer service. they treat you with patience, very friendly and smile. i was served by them at all the 3 stores. i wanted to buy some stuff from body shop but in the end i walked out empty-handed. could it be that the sales assistants were local? that might well play a part in why i did not buy anything from body shop although i have something in mind. i'm quite particular of the service i get and more often than not, it is one of the factors that will determine whether to patronise the store or not. so far, japan is the only country/place that has won my heart in terms of the standard of customer service. their service is world-class i tell you! the japanese really made me feel great when i was doing my shopping there back then. woo hoo.

alright, time to head off to bed. it's weekdays again. :(

gd night!

finally got my lazy butt to gym lately! this evening, i went back home, changed, packed, and drove to california (novena - cos it's the nearest to my home) gym. had a great & awesome workout! 1 hour of bodycombat session (perspiring throughout) and 15 minutes of jogging. Thereafter, off to sauna for another 15 minutes, and finally 30 minutes to bathe, change, blow-dry my hair, and pack up. so, a good-2hr spent there. but something happened when i returned the towels in exchange for my membership card. well, i don't wanna repeat myself so you can just read the email that i just sent to them earlier on below:


California Fitness Membership No. (if any): none cos' your staff misplaced my membership card

Your Comments, concerns or requests :

Dear Sir/Mdm,

I wrote in to express my disappointment at the incident that happened earlier on (just about half an hour ago) at California gym (Novena Branch). Just as I thought I could go home after a tiring workout, I realised that my membership card was 'swopped' with another person's, all because of the mishandling by one of your staff.

All I got was a question of 'When are you coming down here again?' so that I could collect it from the counter. Anyway, I have already left my name and my contact number with the staff, hopefully someone from your side could take the initiative to call the person who took my card by mistake and have it returned to me via post within a week. Without the card, it would cause me much inconvenience as I have to inform the person at the counter about what had happened and to provide my particulars. What about collecting towels and returning them? More hassles.

So I am hoping someone could show good customer service and initiative here.

Regards
Yvonne

end of story... i wanted to write 'I am expecting someone could show good customer service..." but changed it to 'hoping' cos it will make me sound like a demanding biatch.. haha. i feel kinda bad actually but i was really disappointed. i mean, they lost my card yet i had to go back and collect it on my own??

well, i could have been a happier person if this incident had not happened. but forget it, at least i had a good workout just now.

okieeeeee, photos to be up soon after the boyfriend sends me all my pictures which are all kept in his laptop. i have bought a new computer (i *heart* my LG 22" big screen monitor!!!) already~ heee haaaaaa!! thanks to darling and my brother who accompanied me to sim lim sq and IT fair that day! *big hugs* :)))

oh, and one more thing, i might be shifting (as in "blog-shift") soon. am still trying to figure out how to choose a new blogskin and stuff. quite tough and complicated for an IT-idiot like me.

gd night all! a big thank you to all those lovely people who cared and showed your concern upon the demise of my beloved aunt. i still miss her but i know she's happier in heaven, at least there's no pain and suffering for her anymore.

was having dinner with dar and his family at goodwood park hotel last night when i received a call from mummy telling me that my aunt's not gonna make it. after bidding goodbye to his family, dar and i rushed down to ttsh. by the time we reached there, aunt was gone... i saw my daddy and my eldest aunt sitting down on the floor, crying their heart out. my youngest aunt was even more emotionally affected. she just kept crying and calling out my aunt's name. i couldn't stop tearing... we finally got to see aunt at the mortuary. at that time, i just couldn't stop crying. everyone was heartbroken, their eyes red and their faces with tears. darling hugged me as i cried my heart out. all of us just stood there crying non-stop, for over an hour if i'm not wrong.

i'm ok.. just that i'd tear at times when i think of my aunt; while driving, bathing and even now. i think it's another big blow to the yeo family. just two months after my eldest uncle passed on, my aunt was the next person to go.. i'm really afraid that my dad cannot take it. cos i know he's a family man, cherishes and loves his siblings very much. i kept telling dad to be strong as i placed my hand on his shoulder. he cannot fall, simply cos he's my most beloved dad. and i love him alot.

life is so fragile. and i suddenly feel that life is meaningless.

after battling the illness for about 3 months, she's gone.. really gone. i hope she's happy and well in heaven...... goodbye forever, my dearest aunt.

inspiration and motivation from my all-time american idol, kris allen...

No Boundaries - Kris Allen

Seconds, hours, so many days
You know what you want but how long can you wait
Every moment last forever
If you feel you've lost your way

What if your chances are already gone
Started believing that I could be wrong
But you give me one good reason
To fight and never walk away
Cause here I am still holding on

Every step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain
Whether the hurricanes
To get to that one thing
So you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you've almost gave up on your dreams
Then take it by the hand
And show you that you can
There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries

I fought to the end to stand on the edge
What if today is as good it gets
Don't know where the future's headed
Nothing's gonna bring me down

I've jumped every bridge and I've run every line
I've risked being saved but I always knew why
I always knew why
So here I am still holding on

Every step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain
Whether the hurricanes
To get to that one thing
So you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you've almost gave up on your dreams
Then take it by the hand
And show you that you can

You can go higher, you can go deeper
There are no boundaries above and beneath you
Break every rule cause there's nothing between you
and your dreams

Every step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe

Yeah, there are no boundaries
There are no boundaries

With every step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain
Whether the hurricanes
There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries

There are no boundaries

as of today, i'm officially an 'orphan'. darling has left for taiwan this afternoon. it was his grad trip with his uni friends. i could have tagged along!! but i'm having exams for the next 2 weeks (tomorrow being the 1st paper) hence i'm stuck here! argh. anyway, darling was really sweet to come over and keep me company last night. we went to amk hub's ntuc to buy some of his stuff for the trip. and then later in the night, while i was studying halfway, i dozed off. this morning when i woke up, i looked at him, and he woke up, with eyes half-open. i was quite taken aback cos he usually sleeps like a dead pig. haha. but it was nice to get a morning hug and sure felt good knowing that he woke up just to have breakfast with me. =) darling, thanks for the very sweet gesture! you're much loved and appreciated. *hugs* enjoy your 9-day taiwan grad trip! i will miss you loads. hopefully you can bring me to where you promise to end of this year. :D

knowing that my good ol' lappy is passing on, darling has also left his laptop for me to use. so here i am, using his high-performance lappy. as such, i'll just upload a few photos before i head off to revise soon.

last week was one of my lousiest weeks at work. i think only one of my jumpers understand how i feel. just can't get myself to cheer up. it's the same old issue that's been boggling my mind for the past 11 mths. i wish i could just move on... but i'm still trying to figure out what i really want in life. big thank you to friends who listened, and for all of your encouragement and support!

our trip to marina barrage!

our bkk trip! :)
outside the shopping mall at bkk, wearing our 1st couple t-shirts. -loves-
with ceo. haha, so i suppose more people know where i'm working at now...

goodbye for now! more uploading of photos next time i hope!

wish me luck for my first paper tmr! :D

i know some of you have told me that i haven't been updating my blog regularly. yes yes, i am aware that there's gonna be spider webbies growing all over pinkyrocks if the writer continues to procrastinate. haaa. and i also have comments that my blog is turning emo-momo (i created this word. haha. should be quite obvious what it means, i hope). alright, alright.. more happy things coming up! that is... when i get a new comp first! my good ol' lappy of 3 years going on to 4 is going to pass on soon. gets cranky at times, pms on some days, and other days it just refuses to go as fast as you would want it. perhaps i shouldn't try too hard to overwork this poor lil' used-to-be-glorified tech gadget. haha, seems like excuses aplenty for the irregular, infrequent emo-momo blog entries.

well, there were happy events taken place in my life of course! words of description shall be spared, pictures will be revealed instead... except for this - kris allen has been crowned the american idol!!! you have no idea how ecstatically exhilarated i was at that point in time when lynn dearest sent me the most precious sms of that night, that kris allen has WON!!! i'm not, or was never a fan of american idol, and i don't really catch american idol episodes in the past until i heard kris singing "falling slowly". i fell in love with him thereafter. (sorry darling wong... i know you'll forgive me for this. haha)
*kris allen kris allen kris allen* -screams- (sorry that i'm still acting like a 15-year-old teen even though i'm already so old now)

ok, i'm off to catch some sleep! update soon!

good night,
happy von, happy me. =)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoTUNfjFCcA

oh my god... watch the you tube video. i wished i was still in nus!!!!! the spidey was real entertaining! very creative... :) arghhh.. makes me miss those times in sch! uni life was very stressful and it's especially so during exam period. those dreadful times when i could study till 4, 5am and skip many meals. it's such an effective diet strategy! now... *shakes head* i really need to get my butt moving soon..... -sighs-

oh yes! i went out with lynnette last night and just now! it's been really enjoyable and great hanging out with her! i just learnt so much from the things that she shared. i suppose i should learn to be more optimistic and contented... thanks babe! you have no idea how happy i am!!! *beams*

income envy...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8008057.stm

... perhaps i was too blinded by the pursuit. do i really want it? and most importantly, is it something that i will enjoy?

it's back to basics.. back to square one..

where's the conviction that i used to have? where's the dream that i used to hold on so closely to?

i don't know what i'm thinking.... maybe i should just head to bed, sleep and forget everything...


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horoscope for today (which is so accurate):

to my one & only you...

"this is one of the rare weekends that i'm spending without you by my side... and i miss you. i miss you so much. i just want to tell you that i'll always be standing by you, wherever, whenever, including this crucial period. i have absolute faith in you. you can do it my honey bun! just about 9 more days to freedom! can't wait for you to graduate! can't wait to see you!"

*hugs & kisses*
baby von =)

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i was watching american idol yesterday when i heard kris allen sing this song and i teared! it was truly touching!

Falling Slowly - Kris Allen

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

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been feeling discouraged and down sometimes as of late.. that feeling sucked. nonetheless, i just hope things will fall back into place soon. at times, the pursuit gets exhausting, mentally tiring especially.. but i keep reminding myself once and again never to fall, never to give in and never to give up. it's all in the mind, isn't it? i'm working on it. eventually i'll find my way to my destination, to where i want to be.

the ceo and the higher level management in my company have been encouraging everyone to have a facebook a/c.. and guess what? i was 'sabotaged' by my colleagues and manager to be one of the facebook advocates.. and my role is basically to tell my colleagues about the pros of fb and to promote and persuade my department ppl to sign up for fb. *faints* i think it has to do with the fact that ceo has mentioned my name (note: not only my name was mentioned of course) in the email (relating to facebook). hahaha.. now i have to go around psychoing all my colleagues to have a fb a/c, and it ain't gonna be an easy task cos there're quite alot of older staff who's not very savvy in social networking stuff you see... :(

yup.. and now, i have two separate fb accounts! one for personal use, the other one's for work! haha..

gd night all. it's getting late!

Here Without You - 3 Doors Down

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me


....... this song's sucha tearjerker...

ceo announced that there'd be no wage increment this year. it's a really discouraging news. but considering the economic crisis currently, security and no wage cuts are good enough for now i suppose. economic outlook is bleak, every day is filled with bad news about ppl losing jobs, companies making huge losses, banks doing badly etc... it's gonna be a very tough year ahead. so friends, if you wanna get me bday presents, the best gift is... hongbao! haha.. darling, for your info (and action) as well. lol.

on another note, things are not going smoothly for me too. there are some things that i'm not happy with. and it'll carry on for as long as where i am. i'm quite lost, all of a sudden. any decisions i make will have repercussions. can someone just help me get out of this maze?

i want to be optimistic. i want to be stronger. i....

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hope chinese new year has been great for all! for mine... there's nothing unusual... except that darling's grandpa has left us during the cny period. it's tough for him i know. but he's pretty strong. for me it's tough as well cos i treated him just like my own grandpa. i'm glad that i've been with and for him throughout the period. darlin', i just wanna let you know that i will always be here for you. you can always fall back on me when you need to. anytime. *hugs*

haven't gone to river hongbao! it's like sorta an annual activity? last year i went there with my cousins, brothers and the boyfriend. this year, we went to catch the local film "a wedding game" at shaw and then for supper at newton. it was a good bonding session.. we chatted and had a good laugh abt the jokes cracked by my crappy cousin weiming as usual. haha. hmmm.. anyways, hope to go to river hongbao before it ends next week! or is this week the last week??

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shd get going.. will upload photos soon. gd night all!

i want to be an 'insulator'...

..someone who can go through anything and everything in life.

..someone who picks him/herself up when he/she falls.

..someone who's emotionally and mentally strong.

..someone who never gives up when obstacles arise but puts in even more effort.

..someone who believes in the pursuit of his/her dreams and will keep on working toward that direction.

and i believe. i believe in everything that i live for, that i want to live for and that i aim to live for. i believe all that i'm doing now will bring me to fruition eventually.

..my very conviction.

..strong will.

..endurance.

..perseverance.

..indomitable spirit.

if you have not, you need to start believing... in yourself.

today, being the very first day of the month (and year), is also darling ray and my 22nd month anniversary! thank you for the surprises my love. a very happy 22nd monthsary to you! thanks for being so sweet, like you always do. :) i love you and i hope we will grow old together. i promise that i will love you with all my heart. =)

the arrival of a brand new year also means that it's time for resolution-making! well, i'm not going to list down the many resolutions like i did for the past few years because i realised that i'd have already forgotten almost half of them a few months down the road. so this year, this 2009, i'm gonna just have 3 resolutions. yes, just 3. so here goes..

(not in sequence, all are of importance to von von)

resolution #1 - to spend more quality and quantity time with my loved ones (my friends included of course). i.e. to take the initiative to bring my family (including darling *beams*) out for meals and to other places more often, and to take the initiative to ask my friends or organise more gatherings and outings (cos yours truly is kinda the passive party. lol). there're quite a few friends who have asked me out but till now, i've not met them cos i was too busy! procrastination kills. i have told them that i'd arrange a date with them but have not done so yet. this is bad.. :( but i'll clear off these 'debts' for this coming new year! =)

resolution #2 - career. i.e. i may not be doing my dream job currently (yes, could have fulfilled my dream months back if i have accepted that offer) but i will make full use of this time (while waiting for my dream sector to recover and the economy to pick up) to learn as much as possible, to pick up new skills along the way, to improve myself in all aspects and to inject more confidence and drive in me! by then, i should be more equipped in fulfilling my dream job. i have also thought of alternatives. the dream job you have may not always be one that you enjoy/like. so, there're back-up plans for me. :) till then. but for now, i'm very determined to pursue and eventually fulfil my dream and make it come true! gambatte ne! =)

resolution #3 - health. i.e. my health has not been very good for the past one year. i will need to and have to keep fit and healthy for the sake of my resolution #1 and resolution #2. in order to fulfil resolution #3 so as to make #1 and #2 come true, i will try my best to exercise more frequently, do sports on a more regular basis, eat healthily, drink more water (i have this very bad habit of drinking very little water! bad bad) and sleep early (this is unlikely if i'm in my dream sector) or at the very least, to have sufficient sleep.

i do have other resolutions. but the above 3 are my priorities and i really hope to make these 3 resolutions come true in this brand new year! i'll keep them close to my heart and mind. =) i'll work hard. i'll put in the effort. i'll be determined and never to give up. i'll stay strong. i'll persevere. i'll make it. i'll succeed.

to everyone of you, i wish you a very happy and blessed 2009! may all your dreams and wishes come true. 2009 will be a better year no matter what. you just gotta believe in it. :)

p/s: i'll post up the pics really soon! have been too busy and lazy to do it. sorryyyyy!!

gd night all, gd night world. =)

~Dreams & Aspirations~
-Happiness & Bliss-
-=Faith & Hope=-
If you can DREAM it, you can DO it
FAITH consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to BELIEVE



Yvonne
A typical pisces - sentimental, emotional & contemplative
NUS Arts
Is in pursuit of her dreams



My family & darling ray! :D
All my friends! :D
My 4 cute doggies! :D
Yakult (green apple flavour)! :D
Chocolates! :D
Ice-cream (vanilla, rum & raisin)! :D
Western food!:D
Bubble tea! :D
Fluffy soft toys (me to you, foever friends bear esp)! :D
Travelling! :D
Music & Dance! :D
Shopping! :D
Movies! :D
Tennis! :D
Rollerblading! :D
Water sports! :D



*my loved ones will always be happy
*learn baking / making pastries
*a good pastry-making book
*chocolate buffet feast at fullerton
*durian delight buffet at goodwood park
*do sports more often (especially tennis and watersports like wakeboarding)
*a trip to mint museum of toys
*be financially-savvy
*good books on financial planning and investments
*a good tennis racket
*my very own designer bag
*watch jay chou's concert (have always wanted to but couldn't get the hot-selling tix!)
*learn a third language well
*to spend a white christmas, with the snow falling on my face (:
*outdoor ice-skating in a winter-cold country
*travel around the world (hopefully my next destination would be either switzerland or hokkaido)
*have more surprises in my life



Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offence and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes






No Boundaries - Kris Allen








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